Knothead you have been and are going through alot - its no wonder you fell back ito something that you found helped in the past - have you made the appointment for may? I hope so . DId they know you were hurting yourself? if not can you ring them back and tell them?

The important thing is not to be too hard on yourself for going back to your old habit - the important thing is to try and find things to do instead of hurting yourself in the future - read the stickies at the top of the page they may help - just reading them has helped me somtimes

I know how you feel about your cats - I have two they are 11 and 9 years old and I love them dearly and they are such good company when you are feeling own - I am glad you still have the company of your cat - and Im sorry your husband left you without warning - that must have been a shock - I hope you can find somthing to do instead of hurting yourself - come here and talk aobut how you are feeling - and try to be kind to yourself