Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 04, 2009, 10:53 AM
knothead's Avatar
knothead knothead is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 9,854
I've been self-injuring off and on since I was about 14 (I am 35 now). When I got married in my early 20's, I managed to only S.I. a few times a year, only when I was overly stressed or sad.

The past few years have been hell. One by one, my precious cats have passed away. I used to have four; I have lost one each year until now I only have the one, and she is 14. My husband deserted me without any warning or explanation in 2007. I even lost the job that I loved because of the high gas prices.

I tried to get help a few weeks ago, I called to make an appointment with the mental health clinic, but since I don't have a specific suicide plan, they won't see me until the first week of May. That's so stupid -- if I did have a plan then I wouldn't have asked for help, I would have just done it.

Everything is just too overwhelming--I started back into my old S.I. pattern about a week ago. It's scary because I don't seem to have the control over it like I once had. I don't really expect to get much feedback from anyone, I just thought it might help me to write it all down.
__________________
I started doing it again.

" I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence.
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation,
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling, and it whispers to me softly,
"Come and play". Aahh, I am falling, and if I let myself go
I'm the only one to blame.

I'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me, but why do I feel
this party's over?
No pain, inside, you're like perfection, but how do I feel
this good sober?"
(From the song "Sober", by Pink)

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 04, 2009, 06:46 PM
phoenix7's Avatar
phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 8,135
Knothead you have been and are going through alot - its no wonder you fell back ito something that you found helped in the past - have you made the appointment for may? I hope so . DId they know you were hurting yourself? if not can you ring them back and tell them?

The important thing is not to be too hard on yourself for going back to your old habit - the important thing is to try and find things to do instead of hurting yourself in the future - read the stickies at the top of the page they may help - just reading them has helped me somtimes

I know how you feel about your cats - I have two they are 11 and 9 years old and I love them dearly and they are such good company when you are feeling own - I am glad you still have the company of your cat - and Im sorry your husband left you without warning - that must have been a shock - I hope you can find somthing to do instead of hurting yourself - come here and talk aobut how you are feeling - and try to be kind to yourself
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
I started doing it again.
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #3  
Old Apr 04, 2009, 07:54 PM
Christina86's Avatar
Christina86 Christina86 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
((((((((((((knothead))))))))))))))

You sure have gone through a lot recently - I'm sorry. Losing a furry friend is hard, regardless of everything else happening in your life!!

Is there any way you can call someone else who might be able to see you sooner than May? Or perhaps calling them back and telling them you need to see someone NOW and not later? Because you're right, having to wait until you're suicidal is a dumb plan of theirs!

Until you get to see someone though - is there anyone you trust who knows about your self-injuring, or someone you'd feel comfortable telling? Just someone to keep you company, someone you can call or that can help you out that lives nearby? What about a crisis line?

You can also post here. As many times as you need to. Or send me a PM anytime and I'll listen to you. There are a lot of supportive people here.

__________________
I started doing it again.
  #4  
Old Apr 04, 2009, 11:12 PM
ickydog2006's Avatar
ickydog2006 ickydog2006 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Reply
Views: 282

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:59 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.