Ozzie,

I think everyone here has make some wonderful sense......it seems you don't see it coming until after you react.....you need to sit down right after that & write down the scenario & mark it in your mind so that the next time you will recognize it when it happens......as it seems that after 40 years, you still don't see it coming & you can't explain it even afterwards.

I know how that is however, we get so used to it happening & so used to reacting that it just becomes another part of life without even really thinking about it.

I know when I finally got away from my husband & then when I would talk on the phone & he would push my buttons, I was finally far enough removed so I could analyze what was happening, but when I was around him....I didn't see it clearly either.

You really need to analyze exactly what it is that he is doing.....as he has been doing it for 40 years....maybe even he doesn't know what he is doing....if you don't know....why would he? He is just being the jerk he has always been & you have never pointed out exactly what it was that he was being a jerk about....how would he know what he was doing????? if you really think about it....his behavior is as much of a habit as your reaction it at this point in time.

If you really want it to stop....they you have to analyze what "IT" is.

Debbie