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#1
May 20, 2009, 10:32 PM
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I know, as a person who gave up alcohol 10 months ago (it's a year on July 20th) that sometimes dealing with the people who are trying to convince you to drink are the hardest to deal with. It's sometimes really hard to admit to even our closest friends or family that we're struggling with an alcohol addiction.
How do you deal with it? Any experiences you'd care to share, or phrases and explanations to get people who "push alcohol" off your back?? Quote:
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 Lost71
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#2
May 20, 2009, 10:53 PM
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Quote:
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| Lost71
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#3
May 20, 2009, 11:39 PM
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It's almost 16 years since my last drink.
Here's a few things that I say to refuse alcohol. I don't have to say much very often because most everyone knows that I don't partake. I'm very comfortable with my response and try to be socially gracious out of respect for my offering host. From simple to put the foot down:
Congratulations on your 10 months! That's real perseverance on your part. Impressive, a lot of people don't make it that far.
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 notz |
| Catherine2, Christina86, Soidhonia
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#4
May 22, 2009, 03:00 PM
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Tell them you are an evangelical christian and its against your religion/morals.
That's one way you could get out of explaining yourself I suppose. 
__________________
“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron |
| Christina86
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#5
May 22, 2009, 03:48 PM
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A good question Christine and a situation most recovering people will be dealing with at some point or another...
First off a polite "no thank you" will usually close the book with most folks...see the universe does not revolve around any alcoholic and normally the wolrd will just move on... For the rude folks that continue to insist...a simple "It's not something I would like to discuss" will often be brash enough to close it up... For the folks that really insist...I tell them if this is all the booze they have...it ain't enough....  Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
| Catherine2, Christina86, idontknow13, Lost71
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#6
May 22, 2009, 05:51 PM
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i just say, "i choose not to drink" (alcoholic beverges). if they have a problem with drinking this will make them nervous.
 if they don't they will probably let it drop. if they don't let it drop, i just say no thank you. if need be i make a quick exit if i feel like i'm not in a safe place, meaning the other person(s) is not going to let it drop. i choose to not subject myself to placing my sobriety in danger.jme, but at 1 year sober, some moons ago, i didn't go anywhere alcohol was served. i was not comfortable until about 5 years sober and i had to make a appearances at job fuctions. i arrived early and left early. i still, 18 years later, prefer to not go to bars, and the like, altho many ppl i know do after gaining a strong spiritual footing. i don't mind if it's a holiday, etc. but i always have an exit plan if i need one. what say you? 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| Christina86, VickiesPath
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#7
May 24, 2009, 04:16 PM
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I run into this all the time with my customers. They are always offering me drinks and food and they insist when I say no .much of the time. Its not that they are being rude. they genuinly want to give and are curious as to why I decline. And they feel a bit offended I think.
So I usuall say how thoughtful of you to offer me XYZ and maybe dress it up a bit more making a coment on how nice XYZ is . But I'd like to graciously decline. if they slip it in a bag in mycar which many do . I throw it in the trash as soon as i can. I mentioned to a friend once about my needing to decline when someone was insiting I take something and they made me feel bad for declining and that I should just accept what they were offering me. So nice to see the great advice here. Thank you. Patricia |
| Christina86
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#8
May 24, 2009, 04:59 PM
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HTML Code:
For the folks that really insist...I tell them if this is all the booze they have...it ain't enough....:D  Oh Lenny, so true, so true!!!
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notz |
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#9
May 24, 2009, 06:26 PM
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I suppose after the forth 'no thank you" they say
"Oh ! Patricia.. Don't be so FINICKY! " I just might blurt out. Well Id rather not .. mess up your fine china, feel up your hubbys arse , and throw up all over your kitchen table. raid your cabinets and the cellar and high tale off into the night. Now that MAY put me at too much risk ,don't know. I'll ponder That for for a while... |
| notz
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#10
May 26, 2009, 12:40 AM
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Sigh, y'all are so kind and mature in your responses...
I say no thank you...once If badgered I have no problem telling them to FO. As I've said 3 billion times, I am fiercely protective about my sobriety. I do not play games with those who want to challenge me... Clarification; I only do the above after the 3rd attempt to get me to drink. Most people will stop after asking once. Like Lenny, I recognize that the world does not revolve around my staying sober, in fact I believe asking if I want a drink is usually just a social question. A simple no suffices and the party/whatever goes on... Bugging me about it...FO. Catherine
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The Most Dangerous Enemy Is The One In Your Head Telling You What You Do and Don't Deserve... |
| Christina86
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#11
May 26, 2009, 04:35 PM
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I find with saying no to dope just smiling and casually waving your hand most effective, or some other super relaxed easy going approach, "um, I'm ok " making a big deal about it seems to insult the dopeheads and they take it as a challenge.
I expect it's the same with drink. With one "friend" who knew dope would put me in the psych unit who still persisted I stopped seeing. It's often recommended you avoid drinkers if it's been a problem for you, why would you want to torture yourself talking to drunks anyway? Good luck |
| Christina86
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#12
May 30, 2009, 08:24 AM
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The company I worked at for over 25 years was a big bunch of drinkers, at company events the boss had beer trucks at every building for us. They still have yearly reunions at a local bar and try to provide a pitcher of beer to each attendee. I stopped drinking in 2000 and these yearly reunions have been the hardest times to say no. I drank with them for 25 years and now I won't. A lot of them will not take no for an answer.
I went to a web site where you can get ordained as a minister free of charge, fill out one simple form and you are a registered minister. I used that to get a namebadge that says "clergy" on it. Now I just flash my clergy id and say no thanks. They don't bother me anymore. |
| Christina86, VickiesPath
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#13
Aug 15, 2009, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron |
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