help! -- addict sister back in town

You're right! All of that was just me wishing and wishing.. I don't think I can help but wish things though. The answer is I can't try so hard anymore. It will still come to my mind, though, that I wish things were different. I guess I will have to gently remind myself to let those thoughts just float on by, rather than acting on them!

I agree with Byz - set some boundaries with your sister to protect yourself. Also, there is no reason that YOU have to be the only responsible one in the family. I've been that person and it's a horrible, stressful place to be when you feel that everyone is counting on you and no one is helping you. I'm sorry your parents feel that it is a waste to try to help her.

I don't know what to do about my relationship with my sister.
She is addicted to opiates.. usually percocet.. snorts the pills usually. I am so mad because she had this great opportunity. Her friend paid for her to fly to New York and even gave her a place to stay and a job. My sister ruined it by punching her friend in the face when her friend called her a wh*re. The friend kicked her out and even paid for her flight home to be rid of her. I am so mad because now she is back in town. I thought she was finally getting out of the lowlife scene she'd gotten caught up in here! Not only that, now I have to deal with her again.

As you can see, not only is she an addict, she is also a dangerous person. She becomes violent very quickly when her logic is challenged. Once she pulled my hair while I was driving and could have killed both of us. She has punched me, slapped me, kicked me, and when we were younger (before she did drugs even), she held knives to me, scratched me (I have scars all over my arms from her), and threw things at me that really could have hurt me. She even hit my mom with a tree branch once. And threw a CD player at her once, too, giving her a large bruise.

But, my sister has another side. You would never, never, never know when you first met her that she had this violent streak. She seems very insecure and sweet when you first meet her. She is always agreeing with what everyone says and tries to be generous among her friends. She wants to be a good person and apologizes for her rages. I think she has a good heart, and a big huge drug problem and serious rage issues. Also I think she is thoroughly confused and may have BPD.

But, these rage issues were problems with her when she was young. They are now a problem only when she has been using, or is in withdrawal. When she is clean she clears up and becomes a normal human being. But I don't know what to do. She keeps justifying her problem to herself and if you try to challenge her she is dangerous!

We are supposed to hang out tomorrow. I agreed to take her to the beach. There are a few reasons why I maintain this relationship with her. First, I feel like I am the only sane voice in her life. I have been trying to carefully reframe her thinking in subtle ways, hoping that I will eventually reach her (while hoping not to step on a landmine). If she keeps hanging out with drug addicts and has no sane voice countering their mental acrobatics with logic, then I worry she will become further entrenched in this crazy dance of self-justification. Second, I am afraid of her, and afraid that withdrawing my friendship from her will be met with hostility and violence. Also, withdrawing my friendship from her will cause even MORE unspoken tension in a family that is CHOCK FULL of the "underwater currents." And I will become the newest scapegoat since I caused the most recent problem. And third, she is my sister and I love her. I love her so much. We have had such good and deep conversations together. We have cried together and she means so much to me. I don't want to lose our time together. What if she kills herself on these drugs?

But being around her makes me feel worse. And I am sick of walking on eggshells.

Someone help me.