intervention... sort of

I've never talked about my drug and alcohol problem to anyone. Not even a doctor, not on here. The only people who know the extent of it are my good friends. I had a falling out with my best friend because I was screaming and cussing her out while she was holding my head out of my own vomit. I don't remember it and no one even told me about it for months. She wasn't talking to me and I didn't know why there was so much animosity. Her brother ended up telling the story so I confronted her about it and apologized.

I was taking 30 pills EASY in a week and drinking and smoking all sorts of ****. She told me she doesn't want to see me kill myself, but she basically said I could still do drugs just don't get too ****ed up. It's pretty ****ed up the things I've put her through. I once laid in her driveway in her arms for probably an hour too ****ed up to move or stay conscious for more than a few seconds. I can't imagine how screwed up that is for someone to deal with....
sometimes I wonder though if they just want more of a share.

But the fact is she basically saved me from A LOT of ****. I was going three straight weeks just pilld up and drinking.

I'm not sure how to talk about this type of thing on here so, sorry... I honestly hate talking about it.

So, cutting back is the goal? Messing yourself up at a slower pace? I suppose that can be looked at as progress.

volatile, it sounds like you have a real problem with the booze and drugs. It's good you have a friend who is trying to stick with you--maybe even saving your life. Please, please seek profesional help.