![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
My son is on drugs, he is only 19 next month and he is addicted. Ive tryed so hard to make him see what he is doing to his life and health, but nothing is working. The drug he is on is marijuana. He has to have it every day or he really gets agro. I now feel a bit scared of him, he has so much anger in his eyes when he doe not have it.Ive asked him if he has a problem and he has told me yes. So I asked, when are you going to stop ? He replyed im not I like to do it. He hs been doing this for about 2 years and it gradually has become an addition.He only used to do it at partys and stuff like that every now and again. He works and makes good money,but it is getting him nowhere. He has not got a car or licence . I take him to work. He does pay his way but. How do I stop him,or make him see what he is doing to himself and his family. Its such a shame because he is a great person, and its so hard to except what is happening. This is changing his nature, and as his mum im finding it so hard to except. Ive tried so hard, and told him how I feel. But I does not seem to worry him. Before this he would not dream of doing anything to hurt his mum. What to do.
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
I know that as a mother, this is very tough for you, but he's 19, there's nothing you can do to save him or make him stop. If he enjoys what he's doing and doesn't want to quit, he won't. It doesn't matter how much you tell him it's hurting his health or how much you cry sad tears, it won't make him stop.
He's NOT doing this to hurt you, I promise you this much. He has an addiction, when someone is addicted to a chemical substance, they become a different person. Usually a very less desirable person. This isn't the real him, it's him on dope. All you can do is continue to love him as your child and if you pray or meditate, say prayers for him in hopes he can change. Sometimes in life, we have to hit rock bottom in order to build our way back up to a normal life. That will probably be the case with him, as it is with most addicts. Just please try remaining strong and know that you are not alone in this fight. All of our parents (us addicts here on PC) have worried about us as you worry about your son, our parents have cried countless tears as you have for your son. I know the pain I put my parents through was hell for them, but at the time I was on dope and drinking, I couldn't understand it. All I could understand is I wanted my dope and I wanted it right then and would do anything to get it. So please know he's not doing all of this to hurt you or disappoint you. He has a problem... Until he wants help himself, nothing else will work for him. (((((pixy)))))
__________________
... What's this life for? |
#3
|
||||
|
||||
I would check out the local ALANON chapter in your town, or see if there is a similar one for family and friends of addicts. See if that might help? It might at least help you cope until he's ready to quit. Best of luck,
Rayna
__________________
|
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks for your reply. I was told by someone he would have to hit rock bottom,and be ready to stop. So you are right. Its hard I dont want to see him get hurt. But yes he knows I love him. Its a very powerfull thing (drugs).I may have made the mistake . When he told me that he'd tryed it, I said well everyone has a go . Maybe he thought it was accepted.He knew that I knew he ws just doing it at partys .He also drinks when he is having it. Thats not good either. Well thanks again,and you take care. I have been reading your messages. You should be very proud of yourself. Good work.
|
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks for your reply. I do have a councellor for my depression. But you have a good idea there, ill look up one of those support groups in our area. They do have them for familys. Thanks again.
|
#6
|
||||
|
||||
pixy, please don't blame yourself with this. He's now an adult, he makes his own decisions and does his own thing. No one is responsible for his choices. You're in my thoughts and prayers, hope everything works out for you and he sees what he's doing before it's too late.
__________________
... What's this life for? |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks, Im hanging in there.He told me he loved me today. Then again its my birthday, but I know deep down he means it. Thanks again.
|
#8
|
|||
|
|||
i started to post here last night but decided to wait til this morning. pixy, i had four teenagers. from my experience, as long as they have a safety net, (living at home, etc.) there's no pressure to quit drinking or using. none of mine straightened up, while at home. it took dealing with real life and being totally dependent upon themselves, to hit rock bottom. i know it's scary to think about, but he's a young man, now. i suggest talking to your T about it. xoxox pat
|
#9
|
||||
|
||||
fayerody has a very good point... I've lived with addicts my whole life, and I myself am an addict. I believe had my mother kicked us kids out at some point or another, we would have turned out differently maybe. But instead my mom allowed my brother to use in the home so he wouldn't get sick or upset with us and he ended up dieing in my arms. My sister doesnt live at home anymore, but she did move in with a drug dealer, so she's still in active addiction. When I flubbed up and relapsed, my parents told me if I didn't get the help I so desperately needed, I'd have to leave our home. That made me determined to stick to my sobriety. I had been on the streets before, I didn't want to go back.
Sometimes you have to show "tough love" to your children. Right now he'd dependant on you and knows you will allow his behavior, so he's going to continue to do what he's been doing, boozing and getting high. There comes a time when a mother has to put her foot down and say, "Enough is enough. I love you but I'm not going to love you to your death." Think about it, please.
__________________
... What's this life for? |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
bama is so right on. and i know how hard it will be for you. but loving him 'to death' isn't what you want to do........xoxoxo
|
Reply |
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Can't stop, don't wanna stop, know I should stop. | Self Injury | |||
Won't this all stop!!! or should it not? | Dissociative Disorders | |||
Mood swings....the cycle that must stop b4 I stop them all! | Bipolar | |||
How do I stop the emotional pain...can't stop crying | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
REALLY BAD DAY.........Want to stop my meds, stop T, and stop in general | Depression |