I am Sober

Being Pregnant is a godsend for me. Curbing my neverending pill addiction. It was getting bad again. I can say that now that I am clean. Before back in 2003 it was so bad that a few times I should have died, for some reason I did not. Explain to me this deadly combination...Methadone, Percacet, Darvocet, Xanax, Ativan, Clonopin, Opium, Pot, Alchohol, and Prozac, Depokote and Ginseng? Yes, all in one night, no lie....All within about the same time limit. Of course at the time I was trying to die. I don't even remember 2003.....Regardless...I look back and it is amazing I am still alive. I wonder why? Why was I saved? How is it possible that I lived after all that? I moved back home and slowly became victim of the pills. Somehow Methadone found me again. I am so glad to be able to curb the addiction to. Unlike most people who continue to use pregnant. I refuse. I quit smoking cigs like four weeks ago when I got really sick and the pot never is that hard but the pills are the hardest......I am doing good right now, of course it has only big a week. But I am proud of myself. GIving away my stash is like pulling teeth. I might whine some later but this is the best thing for me. Whatever it takes to get sober, and I am happy something did. Is that wrong? WHy is it so hard to kill a pill addiction? Will I always be a pill junkie, reasoning too myself that one here is okay while it slowly consumes my life and wears at my health? Thanks for letting me vent......

Good for you! I was just reading another of your posts and this one was the next post I saw. You have a lot going on right now but it's important that you take care of yourself and LOVE yourself, not just for the baby, but because you are worth loving. I know pill addiction must be a hard habit to break, but it's been done by many and you can do it too. You need to keep your wits about you because of the other thing that's going on with your ex. You don't want to be stoned or fuzzy -- you want to be alert and strong. We're all rooting for you! Good luck and congrats on getting sober!!

Kelly

First, Congrats on the baby and being clean! I know how hard it must be for you. Pill addiction, like any other addiction, is hard to break. But it IS possible. I don't know your belief system but if you are spiritual, I'd suggest going to NA meetings or AA meetings, whichever you prefer. I'd also suggest if you are still hanging around users to get away from them. Hanging around users can be a trigger for you. Stay smart and continue to do whatever you're doing to stay clean. We're proud of you!