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Old Nov 11, 2010, 05:52 PM
splitimage's Avatar
splitimage splitimage is offline
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I was cleaning my bedroom today, and decided to be really thorough and vaccuum under the bed, which I do like maybe once a year.

I found my other pair of glasses all broken and the frame badly twisted out of shape.

I lost my glasses last spring when I went on a major relapse, passed out and fell in a blackout and broke my nose. When I came to there was blood all over my carpet, and obviously now, my glasses were smashed. I fell over again before I could get back into bed, and so decided to sleep on the floor between my bed and dresser - that's obviously when I pushed my glasses under my bed. When I woke up the next morning I was still drunk but decided to go to work anyway - couldn't find my glasses so went for my spare pair, which I've been wearing ever since. Luckily I didn't crash my car on the way to work and nobody at work noticed I was still drunk - they were all fixated on the bruise that was developing around my nose and eyes.

Looking back on it now, I can't believe how out of control I let my drinking get. I could easily have died if I'd hit my head on something when I fell. This is the only time I've injured myself when drinking.

And the really sad part is, that still wasn't enough to make me stop drinking - I had a few more relapses after that up until what I hope is my last one where I crashed my car.

Alcohol takes me to scary places. I'm just so grateful that I found my way back to AA and am sober now. I want desperately to remain sober because I'm afraid that the next time I drink, I really will manage to kill myself, and I'd rather live.

I'd like to thank everyone on this forum who have given me support over the years as I've struggled with drinking. You know who you are.

-splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Had a serious "remember when" today
Thanks for this!
madisgram

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  #2  
Old Nov 11, 2010, 06:42 PM
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notz notz is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Notzville
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Oh, how I relate to your story. I lost my glasses once on the driveway where I passed out. It rained and snowed before I found them again. No earthly clue how I didn't drive over them!

Hugs to you! You sound bright and chipper, this is good. Trying to think of a good AA slogan right now but can't think of any. How about, "Live, live, live"?
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Had a serious "remember when" today

notz
  #3  
Old Nov 11, 2010, 07:12 PM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
oh splitimage my last drunk was so like your glasses story. boy did that bring back memories when i read your post!!!
i am so glad you shared this with us. it may help someone who's wondering if they have a problem to relate.
even more special is "knowing" you. i know you have struggled just as i did those years ago. you keep getting back up and trying again. i hope you never drink again. you are making such strides in your life and deserve all the wonderful extras that being sober brings-The Promises.
it is a joy to me to see you grow.
always here for you ((((SI))))).
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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Old Nov 12, 2010, 05:40 AM
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DePressMe DePressMe is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Location: Indiana
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Split, I'm glad you are okay and I'm super happy that you have found your way back to AA and sobriety. Sometimes I think those bad memories help motivate me to stay sober. And the antabuse helps too.

PS I'm glad you would rather live than die drunk.
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