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#1
Nov 29, 2010, 10:28 PM
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I am devastated as my world is crumbling around me, all because of my alcoholism. Though there are good people around me for support, my state of mind is rotting with guilt, shame, internal conflict, no self esteem and other emotions from hell. I hid it for almost 10 years, while progressively it has gotten worse and worse. Now, I am a breaking point, completely at the mercy of alcohol and it's crippling grip. I am defeated, beaten up, and completely powerless. No one, it seems to me, understands. Or maybe I won't allow them. I am losing my place of employment and failing school. I am too young to be in this position. How can I, despite all the consequences, continue to drink!?
Please, if anyone has any advice, can relate or offer assurance.... |
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#2
Nov 30, 2010, 05:18 AM
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Hi ~ I was where you were. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I HATED myself - I was filled with self-loathing, and was ashamed and guilty.
The ONLY thing that I could do was go to AA. I could NOT stop by myself. I had tried it a hundred times and it didn't work. So I called AA, and thank God someone answered. I'm a woman, and this person put me in touch with another woman, and she met me at a meeting the next night. I was scared, because I had visions of there being brown bottle, trenchcoat wearing winos at the meeting. Was I surprised!!! There were lawyers, pastors, white collar wearing, blue collar workers, housewives, street people, people from ALL walks of life at this meeting! I had found a home!! LOL They all told their stories and it sounded like they were telling MY story. We're all alike - we drink for the same reason. To numb our pain. PLEASE ~ call AA. You will NEVER regret it. And believe me - you may THINK you're been hiding your drinking, but people know. We can't hide it. We think we can, but we can't. Please make the call - and let me know how it goes??? I REALLY CARE!!! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee |
 madisgram
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#3
Nov 30, 2010, 09:54 AM
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AA is a start and you are progressing to step one of our 12 step program. "we admitted we were alcoholic and our lives had become unmanageable."
so to change and stop drinking is heading in the right direction. AA offers one a support system to new ppl and also introduces us to those who've successfully achieved not drinking. i agree with leeds reply wholeheartedly. i've been sober 20 years by staying sober "one day at a time".
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Nov 30, 2010, 03:26 PM
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I too go to AA and have found it immensely helpful. But I needed more in the beginning and went to rehab. Don't know where you are, or if you're insurance would cover it but rehab can be very helpful in breaking the cycle of drinking and helping you to acquire some baseline sober time.
You're never to young to start on the road to recovery. --splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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