[madisgram]

ok many of you know about my alcoholic/drug addict friend in pa. she has lost her driver's license for 2 years due to hit and run while drunk. she has been going out during the day, leaves children unattended during day to do this, and night to get booze by driving- per her husband. yesterday i called her and she was very drunk. husband at work. two of her small children were home, ages 3 and 5. while talking with her, i suggested she contact her psychiatrist, she put down the phone, went to sleep it off and left the 2 children unattended. i finally hung up. husband found her asleep when he came home. i have witnessed him being violent with her when she drinks/drugs. this is another concern. his frustration level is out of control. i don't approve of his reaction but do understand how absolutely frustrated he is after dealing with this for 16 years. but physical abuse is NEVER acceptable.

question-should i report this to child protective services? i am torn about this but fear for the safety of her two young ones.
i have given up on helping her, i am in recovery. there's nothing more i can do and i refuse to have anything else to do with her. it's on her.
question-should i stay out of this altogether and just let her husband do whatever he thinks best for his family including her?

[Yoda]

I say report it before something happens to one of her children.

[lonelygirl...?]

I think you should either report it or at least talk to the husband and see if he,ll talk some sense into her..

just think, what if you didnt do *anything* and something bad happened to the kids? :/

Yes....Children need a voice.

[lynn P.]

As I said in your other post - yes you should call child services. Her husband also needs to step up and do something.

[Perna]

I didn't see that the husband was violent toward her; that family situation is not healthy overall, for her, or the children. If it were up to me, I would get the wife in rehab, the children staying with grandparents/other family relatives for awhile and the husband in therapy. However, doesn't sound like there's anyone in the family who is making very good decisions; If I knew another concerned family member, I'd call them and ask them to work toward helping them with/without family services.

I would not want to get very involved, personally, though because it would be very frustrating long-distance and probably not ultimately helpful since continuous follow-through on my part wouldn't be possible so I'd just end up feeling stuck involved/caring about someone else's seemingly unsolvable problem. I have enough trouble with my own family problems.

I guess my aim was at the children "ages 3 and 5 "left unattended" ....a past "hit and run" I actually kinda understand the husband on this matter...although I respect our laws ....maybe if C.P.S were to become involved she'd be forced to look in the mirror...the kids would be assisted...and husbands frustration level could even out.jmho

[ladyjrnlist]

If the kids will be better of in the system than they are now, do it.

[(JD)]

I responded in the other thread, (so others can go read it if they choose to I continue my support in private with you on this....

You're a good friend to her. You have many options... one of which is to do nothing further.

[madisgram]

hi all, thank you, thank you for your replies to my distress. i have decided to let this go. she has family, hubby to make the decision re children and my friend. i am sad to have to detach from all of them but my mental health and well being needs to come first. i can't change the situation. i'll certainly keep them all in my prayers but "how do u stay healthy in an unhealthy relationship?" my T said to me once. i said i dunno. he replied, "distance". wise man he is.
i already feel better now that i've decided what to do. your replies were so appreciated by me.

[Omers]

better safe than sorry. Don't think you have to give your name