[alias123]

How do you tell people you're thinking of quitting drinking?

I haven't been drinking for about a week and a half, but...

1) I'm not sure if I'm quitting for good or just until I get some stuff in order
2) If I tell people, I guess truthfully I am afraid of being held accountable because of 1).
3) If I don't tell people, things will eventually get awkward since I am a known drinker with friends and family who enjoy drinking

[madisgram]

first off u don't need to make an announcement re not drinking. in a drinking situation how bout just saying you're off the stuff right now? if they respect and care for u they won't take it further.
word of caution-i will admit tho that some drinkers-your friends, etc- might get antsy cause they may be secretly worrying bout their own drinking consumption and/or they won't want to lose their "drinking partner". don't buy in to their encouragement for u to drink.

[racee]

ahh something i have delt with myself...never been much of a drinker...but in 2007 i seemed to go on this binge and met a lot of drinking partners and bartenders who only knew me as a drinker.

i didn't offer the informatioin ..they figuared out something was up when i would go to the bar/restaurant and order a coke
anyways i said that i was taking a break 'forever' they would ask...i said no just for a few months or sogive my liver a rest for awhile...haven't been feelin up to par recently i go overboard...which i don't think i go more overboard than everyone else but i was trying to make it all about me so they wouldn't think i was superior for quitting
i also didn't want to say 'yes' quitting forever because i didn't want anyone to put any expectations on me and if i did slip or decide i wanted to drink again i didn't want to look like a failure or i have this huge problem..i iwouldbe forever known as the one that tried to quit but didn't

and if i decided to stay quit and a few months is up no one would notice and i would just keep not drinking....,,it's a little easier for me though becasue tried to start back up and alcohol get me violently sick even just a tiny amounts so people understand my decision a little more

[Perna]

I have a friend who is a drinker but is on medication now and going through a spot where drinking is not a good idea so he has switched to diet Coke :-) I would just tell people you are "not drinking at the moment" if they make a comment (which is sort of rude unless they know you well) and leave it at that; it's none of their business.

[alias123]

Originally Posted by madisgram

first off u don't need to make an announcement re not drinking. in a drinking situation how bout just saying you're off the stuff right now? if they respect and care for u they won't take it further.
word of caution-i will admit tho that some drinkers-your friends, etc- might get antsy cause they may be secretly worrying bout their own drinking consumption and/or they won't want to lose their "drinking partner". don't buy in to their encouragement for u to drink.

Thanks. I have a feeling some people might be offended by my not drinking. I do hang out with a few people with a bit of an overindulgence problem.

I never thought of it not being necessary to make some grand announcement. Lol. I guess that shows how self important I am.

Thanks.

[alias123]

Originally Posted by racee

ahh something i have delt with myself...never been much of a drinker...but in 2007 i seemed to go on this binge and met a lot of drinking partners and bartenders who only knew me as a drinker.

i didn't offer the informatioin ..they figuared out something was up when i would go to the bar/restaurant and order a coke
anyways i said that i was taking a break 'forever' they would ask...i said no just for a few months or sogive my liver a rest for awhile...haven't been feelin up to par recently i go overboard...which i don't think i go more overboard than everyone else but i was trying to make it all about me so they wouldn't think i was superior for quitting
i also didn't want to say 'yes' quitting forever because i didn't want anyone to put any expectations on me and if i did slip or decide i wanted to drink again i didn't want to look like a failure or i have this huge problem..i iwouldbe forever known as the one that tried to quit but didn't

and if i decided to stay quit and a few months is up no one would notice and i would just keep not drinking....,,it's a little easier for me though becasue tried to start back up and alcohol get me violently sick even just a tiny amounts so people understand my decision a little more

You pretty much read my mind! Thanks. It's nice to be understood like that.

[alias123]

Originally Posted by Perna

I have a friend who is a drinker but is on medication now and going through a spot where drinking is not a good idea so he has switched to diet Coke :-) I would just tell people you are "not drinking at the moment" if they make a comment (which is sort of rude unless they know you well) and leave it at that; it's none of their business.

Well I already got busted by one friend, and I just said I was "taking a break" for emotional reasons. Alcohol is a depressant, true. And it was also making my panic attacks worse and my general outlook super dark. So, I guess that's true. I guess if my good friends ask I'll just tell them the same thing.

Thanks for helping me sort this! I was making a mountain out of a molehill as per usual.

[alias123]

I took your advice, guys, when I was eventually busted. Was figured out right away by one friend, and the other took a week more. Went out last night, and one friend kept trying to get me to drink "just one little drink", but I stood firm. It wasn't that fun though. I really wanted to at some points, but then I think of all of the misery it often brings me and that keeps me off of it for now. They keep asking if it's "for good," and looking kind of forlorn when they say it. lol. Sucks. I wish I was a completely secret drinker.

[Perna]

Congratulations on standing firm! I know I often can't do that :-)

My friend who just drinks Diet Coke now, is depressed/takes depression meds; you could switch to saying something like, "I'm depressed and alcohol depresses one further so I'm doing it for health reasons" or something like that which might make the "desperate" ones who keep trying to make you drink think twice and if they do keep bugging you give them a look like, "do you really want to be asking me to compromise my health? Not a very "friendly" thing to want to do"

[alias123]

Thanks Perna. That's basically what I did say. That it was making my panic worse. She just said that a little bit probably wouldn't hurt. But she was drunk, so what can you do?

Thanks for the support.

[FFABD]

Originally Posted by alias123

Thanks Perna. That's basically what I did say. That it was making my panic worse. She just said that a little bit probably wouldn't hurt. But she was drunk, so what can you do?

Thanks for the support.

If you are earnest in your desire to abstain, even for a bit, and there is pressure, I'd ask you what kind of friends pressure someone else to do something they are not comfortable with in that moment. Here, you are exactly who you are, and we kinda like you for exactly that.

Good luck in your decisions, they are yours and you own them.

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by alias123

How do you tell people you're thinking of quitting drinking?

I haven't been drinking for about a week and a half, but...

1) I'm not sure if I'm quitting for good or just until I get some stuff in order
2) If I tell people, I guess truthfully I am afraid of being held accountable because of 1).
3) If I don't tell people, things will eventually get awkward since I am a known drinker with friends and family who enjoy drinking

Hi would just say I quit drinking and Iam getting myself together for the good and If they say something nasty and smart then I would say back off and I know you are not a truthful friend

[alias123]

I know they are good people, just multi-dimensional people with their own lives to deal with. I'm not sure, were I still drinking, and one of them said they were stopping, that I wouldn't be the same way. I know it is not malicious and so I don't hold it against their character. It was a test of my character and true intentions.

It's possible they were only acting that way because I didn't seem extremely secure in my abstaining. I still am not, because I don't know if it is even my real problem. I am only scared to go down the road of my father, my uncles, every addict in my family, and I feel I am being held back from growth and mental peace and health.

I am angry, too. Why did this sort of reaction to substances have to sneak up on me? Why do we know so little about it? I want to be normal, and I never chose to have this obsessive mind. If a thing works, it only makes sense to use it to feel better though. I feel like I am being punished for the sins of past dead generations or something.