I'm going to admit something I've been denying for years

So...this is going to be hard but I think I might have a problem. My family and friends have told me for a while that I'm abusing drugs. And my therapists have always told me to go to AA or NA because I'm "self medicating" myself. I used to always laugh at it but now I'm beginning to realize that I've been in huge denial all this time...

I'm doing really bad right now. All the friends I thought I had were just using me for weed and pills...and cash for alcohol. And what I've realized is that I've been doing somewhat the same; using them for a hook up. I quit smoking weed...I used to smoke 8 blunts a day but I grew tired of it after a few years and switched to "better" substances like opiates or speed. Now, since I've lost most of my friends and broken up with a 4 year relationship, I've been drinking EVERY DAY whatever I can get a hold of along with pills, so long as they're good. I've been spiraling down this hell hole since I was 15, and now I'm 20 and I can't go a day without drinking.

It's messed up. If I can't get a hold of pills, I turn to alcohol...if I can't drink, I turn to worse things...I've even tried heroin. That hurt my parents so bad when they found out.

I don't know I'm still trying to deal...am I really getting this bad?

I'm sorry to hear this. As you know, abuse of alcohol, amphetamines and opiates is very dangerous!

But you've admitted that you at least have a problem.

That in and of itself is more powerful than you realize. Why? Because you may now recognize that since this has become a problem you may need a solution(s). As such you may need some help with managing yourself better.

It's hard. I remembered how I agreed to call my counselor if I even felt like 'using' after I admitted to him that I had had a crack-cocaine binge. It was humiliating at first. But I eventually found support and guidance. I also learned skills that helped and help me cope.

I hope you will do the same. Be safe! Stay clean if you can while you find some solution(s).

I think you might have a problem too.

That was a very brave thing for you to admit. I'm proud of you.

Hello, DarlaKat. I expect you know the answer. An important question is what are you going to do about it?

i agree with byz. there are support groups to help you stay clean and sober-AA, NA. but most importantly do you want to change? admitting is one thing. putting into action to overcome your problem is another and more important.
due to your length of time drinkin' and using you may need medical care to detox so you don't have seizures. if it were me i'd contact your doctor for his opinion re how you should go about doing the detoxification if you want to stop.
hope you will keep us posted." if you want to use and drink that's your business. if you want to get sober, it's mine." i've been clean and sober quite a long time. you can do it too but desiring to quit and admitting your powerlessness to stop is the first step towards recovery.

Yeah......I think I should quit but it's difficult to see me sober for longer than a day. I don't think I'm that bad to the point of having medical attention but idk like I said I'm in huge denial about it. Ugh its just so annoying, how self-destructive I am. Its hurting my family and to be honest most of the friends I have only care about their buzz...

Wow...you don't know how inspiring this really was for me. Because for me it is really embarrassing and that's why I've been avoiding the help I've been needing for years. It's great that you had the strength to over come this and find healthier ways to deal with the torment life sometimes throws at you. I hope one day I'll be able to do the same.

I certainly hope so too! Good luck!

The only thing I think would be embarrassing, is if you never got help and spent your whole life drowning yourself in substances.

Darla, everyone is only sober for one day, one day at a time. My addiction was to nicotine. I couldn't think past a day; I couldn't think past a minute. But it got easier as time went by. Don't give up on yourself yet. You are more important than your friends.

i am addicted to nicotine....just alcohol is ruining it for meeeeee like riiiiight now lol

I don't find humor in addiction.

Hi Darla Kat! You have done a great thing just admitting that everything isn't right, right now. I know what you mean about your friends. People who get addicted (with other people) tend to get very selfish about it; it becomes its own little world and it is hard to get out!!!

But... there are ways to get out. Therapy can teach you coping mechanisms. Support groups can keep you off substances. And making new friends will nourish those parts of you that care about the bigger picture.... which it seems like your friends right now are not interested in seeing....

I'm sorry I didn't mean to make it out like it was humorous...to be honest I was wasted when I wrote that gosh I'm really sorry.

first off darla u speak of having a prob cause you say you've alienated yourself from family and friends. i don't think you are in denial either cause u posted here. it's a huge step to regain your life and i do hope you will consider that you can change your situation. it's just how far down you wish to go giving up your life to remain numb,etc from drugs and alcohol. u mentioned what you've lost already. is it worth it?
if you think you have a prob, you prob do.

takes a lot of courage to admit drug/alcohol problems im so blessed by God cuz goodness knows i used to mix booze crack tranqs & my t stayed with me thru my crack binges u r so young please get help first of all with detoxing of course in the long run thats the easiest part then long term help & support from people who love u know its not ez cuz ive been there relapses & harder each time to get out of the hell again like ive said in a lot of my posts my 16-25 years r basically a blur relapsed again after 5 years of sobriety but short relapses as u pick up rite where u leave off dont care how many years its been & always worse i watch people where i live continue in their addictions & they get older & in deeper & LOTS of overdoses round here in the past 5-10 years & the years go by very fast & theres a boy i went to school with in his late 30s dying of cirrhosis of liver my first time in rehab when i was 25 my liver was swollen & doc warned me i was gonna get scar tissue cirrhosis by the time i was 35 & i will be 37 this year glad i listened & God helped me out of that hell & relapses take care hun