[splitimage]

This weekend is the big AA/Al-anon provincial conference. I decided to go to it this year, because they always have great speakers, and there's a big group going from my home group. So I'm sort of looking forward to it except 1. it's making my social anxiety really flare up, 2. there's going to be tons of people who I know from around TO that I'll run into and they'll want to get caught up on how I'm doing, and I really don't want to share that I'm unemployed and back in rehab as it's not exactly a self esteem boosting place to be, and 3. I'm positively dreading running into an old family friend L who is a 12 step junkie. She flat out told me the last time we talked that if I didn't find God, I'd never get sober, which just pushed all the wrong buttons for me. She wanted to have coffee with me, but I brushed her off with a really lame excuse, that I wasn't sure what my schedule looked like, as I was hanging out with a group of women from my home group. And now I feel guilty about that.

Blech - why did she have to decided to totally immerse herself in Alanon, she doesn't even have any alcoholics in her family. I'm going to be stressed the whole weekend about running into her.

==splitimage

[madisgram]

splitimage i'm so glad you are going! it will be inspirational and aide you to continue in sobriety.
if friends ask how you are doing, if it would be me, i'd say i was struggling to remain sober but keep coming back. my sponsor once told me i had "false pride". i said what????!!! she explained to me, my need to let others think i was ok when i wasn't. another saying she had, what others say about me was none of my business. i said what??!! she stated do you know your truth? does God or higher power know your truth? if you answer yes to both it doesn't matter what others say cause it's not the truth. so why care?

your family friend has no right to tell you that you must have God in your life to stay sober. she cannot define your higher power because only you can choose your higher power. you can make anything your higher power if it/they know more about successfully staying sober than you. that's why in the big book they even have that chapter re "to the atheist".

if you see your family member i'd acknowledge her and move on. she'll want to engage with you but it's ok if you choose not to. AA teaches us we don't have an obligation to like anyone. the only exception is if they need help staying sober. then carrying the message is suggested. you've already received the message and you have a sponsor. so her comments are not appropriate. you can thank her for her enthusiasm if you wish but you have a sponsor whose suggestions you follow. then repeat that over and over to her if she tries to push your buttons. she'll get the message.

enjoy your convention, benefit from it. try not to worry. that will negate the reason you are truly there.
looking forward to hearing about your attending!

You are working at it, splitimage. Hold your head up.

[madisgram]

please let us jnow how the conference went, SI. hoping u enjoyed it.

[splitimage]

Thanks everyone. I had an awesome time at the conference this weekend. I went down Fri. afternoon for the 3pm speaker, and hooked up with my friends, one of whom was speaking, and we staid until about 10 pm. Then I was back Sat. morning at 9 for a full day of meetings. It was really amazing the speakers were really wonderful. I did run into a bunch of people I knew, and it was mostly ok. I didn't appreciate it when one woman asked if I "finally had some serious time in." I just said, yeah - I'm doing ok, thnaks. I figured my 3 weeks were as serious as anyone elses lol. My friends were great to hang out with on Sat. and they had a recovery bookstore that we went and browsed through, and I wound up buying a bunch of books. It was so nice to be able to look at the books, instead of just ordering on-line. Went to the banquet Sat. night and was at a table with a bunch of people I didn't know, but they were all really nice. Stayed for the keynote speaker, but not the 9 pm speaker as I was really too tired. Went back today from 9 - 3. The sobriety countdown was really a blast, it was the first one I'd ever been too. Anyone with less than 2 weeks sobriety was given a big book, which I thought was nice. And the closing speaker was amazing - she was so inspirational. I'm totally exhausted now, but I had a great time.

There's another 1 day smaller conference in May which is hosting a fantastic speaker, that I'll probably go to too.

--splitimage