[splitimage]

I'm finishing rehab this Fri. I'm sad, scared and at the same time want to move on. I'm sad and scared because rehab has been a very safe time and place for me. But I also know I need to move forward with my life and start job hunting which in and of itself is going to be scary.

I've agreed with the staff that while I'm job hunting I'll attend the voluntary harm reduction groups on Mon. and Fri. as well as my aftercare group on Wed. afternoons. I need the added support and structure to my week when I'm job hunting as that shoots my anxiety through the roof and I know I'll want to drink.

I feel like I'm coming out of rehab this time with a more realistic set of expectations and some extra skills that I've acquired from additional work I've been doing, but I know my track record for relapse is lousy and that scares me.

Just going to have to keep taking it one day at a time I guess.

--splitimage

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by splitimage

I'm finishing rehab this Fri. I'm sad, scared and at the same time want to move on. I'm sad and scared because rehab has been a very safe time and place for me. But I also know I need to move forward with my life and start job hunting which in and of itself is going to be scary.

I've agreed with the staff that while I'm job hunting I'll attend the voluntary harm reduction groups on Mon. and Fri. as well as my aftercare group on Wed. afternoons. I need the added support and structure to my week when I'm job hunting as that shoots my anxiety through the roof and I know I'll want to drink.

I feel like I'm coming out of rehab this time with a more realistic set of expectations and some extra skills that I've acquired from additional work I've been doing, but I know my track record for relapse is lousy and that scares me.

Just going to have to keep taking it one day at a time I guess.

--splitimage

Good for you splitimage, just know that it is something you can do, I know its hard but you can do it and you are on a path to being a happier person. Just make sure you keep going to meetings. That is really important. Every time you feel you are weak, go to another meeting, usually they have them around the clock, I hope you get a schedule of them togeather to have with you. I know it really helped my husband.
Keep that schedule with you all the time and know it is there if you need it. Good luck with the job hunting, you will find one, maybe if you find something that isn't really demanding or something you like to do, that might help.

One day at a time, it does work, keep trying.

Open Eyes

here's the thing...

say you're on a road trip from New York to California. If you get lost in Colorado you don't go all the way back to New York and start all over again. you pick up where you left off in Colorado and continue from there.

relapse is sometimes part of recovery. who does recovery perfectly? nobody. It's just one day or one moment at a time. We have a spiritual reprieve and that has to be enough. Keep your eyes focused on the ultimate goal and you'll be alright.

Love and hugs,
Tara

[Leed]

Congrats on finishing your rehab! I'm sure it DOES feel scary to finish and move on. But now it's time to put into practice what you've learned. You need only take things a minute at a time -- I couldn't do it a day at a time, cause that was too much for me. So I just took it a minute at a time ~ anyone can do that!! lol I also did 90 meetings in 90 days ~ actually I went to more than that cause some days I went to more than one meeting. I NEEDED them!!

Another poster said that relapse is part of recovery ~ it doesn't HAVE to be. I never relapsed once I got sober. I knew that I didn't have another recovery in me -- I was determined to STAY sober - and I did!! Also, it has been found that we relapse little by little -- it doesn't just "happen." We start relapsing months before we actually DO it. So watch for the signs, i.e. making excuses for not going to meetings, buying "near beer," etc. I know alot of other people that never relapsed too, so hang on so that you don't relapse either!

Keep posting ~ we'll help you along the way! God bless and take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

"...that shoots my anxiety through the roof and I know I'll want to drink."

split image, when i read that part i needed to comment. if we come to a fargone conclusion it will probably happen. that includes our sobriety. can you replace that thought with a positive one? one that will reinforce your sobriety instead? an affirmation maybe?
you've set up some good safeguards with your group and that is a good thing.
when i got sober and kept picking up i first felt doomed cause i didn't "get" it. others did but i was a failure even at AA. what worked successfully for me was i realized I was fighting for my very existence. no one was going to save me from my alcoholism but me and my higher power. I had to make the total committment to stay sober. I had to be responsible to self. believe me, i didn't want to grow up but in order to stay sober i had to be responsible. I couldn't give in when stressors occured in my life. i'm sure you've heard the expression, if you feel like drinking, put your as.. in a wheelbarrow and drive yourself to a meeting. life has it's ups and downs...it is what it is, but if we want to stay sober "life stuff" is not an excuse to drink. the only reason really that we drink is we'd rather be drunk than sober. not busting you. i hope you know that.
you've suffered enough already. complete surrender to this disease is the answer. our way doesn't work or we could drink successfully.
good fortune on the job hunt.

[jimbobconfused]

Keep up the good work! Remember that you have people who care about you, that you can turn to if any desires occur! Have faith in yourself, love and take care of your mind, body and soul.