The void.

Several of the medications I have taken required me to stop using alcohol. I did not like the idea at first. Yet I realized not drinking might be a good thing. For a number of years, I had been drinking more and more, often to help me sleep. Self-medicating I guess it could be called.

I did not have withdrawal symptoms but one. I had stopped going to bars so I was not tempted. Eventually, I did go to bars and not drink. I found I did not enjoy the time there. Without the alcohol I was more a curiosity, and often felt isolated surrounded by people saying and doing what I viewed as rather silly stuff.

My therapist told me stopping drinking had left a void. Now I needed alternatives to fill it. He asked me to think about why I drank; what purpose it filled. My first response was I felt less lonely.

My views about why I drank have changed over the years. I expect I had a void before the alcohol and still do. I do not miss alcohol. Stopping using it forced me to examine the voids in my life.

Sarah Hepola talks about her experience here: http://www.salon.com/life/feature/20...bar/index.html

Do others here who have stopped or are trying to stop drinking have similar stories? Have you thought about the absence of alcohol in the sense of having to replace the void?

I drank heavily from the age of 15. However it never became a physical addiction.

When I did drink I was literally the life and soul of every party, did really crazy things - dare me and I would do it, made people laugh, was up for it with guys - without alcohol I would sit in the corner not saying anything, too self conscious to speak.

I rarely drink now - maybe a couple of drinks on birthdays etc...and in terms of the social life I had, it has left a void - made it difficult for me to attend those events and actually the invites decreased when I stopped using alcohol.

However I am working to be more self accepting and am looking for other ways to connect with people (PC is great!) - self development workshops, yoga, group meditation - so being with people without that pressure to perform, to accept myself as a quieter, deeper person. And actually at times I am beginning to like myself more.

So in terms of replacing it, I am just trying to live a different life, to learn to feel (scarey!) rather than escape.

SD

I am at the harm reduction stage of my drinking with total abstinence as a goal. I have been free from the influence of alcohol and sober in the past.

As a secular person (weak atheist, non-theist, secular humanist..pick your choice ) my recovery choices are those that fit my (terminally...LOL) unique needs. I find it a good healthy challenge to seek out those that support my recovery choices as I am willing to support theirs. The void that I trying to fill is finding others in recovery similar to me. I do this not only to be recovered from alcoholism, but to find like or open minded people to fellowship with in general.

So I guess I'm in the process of filling this recovery support void and looking at other voids in my life to fill. Anywho, I have always found it to a rewarding experience to offer and receive support from others. As I do honor all paths to a heather lifestyle free from the all to often destructive nature of harmful substance addiction is to be.

I drank heavily for alot of years -- and when I joined AA and quit, I couldn't help but wonder what I was going to do with myself. What was going to take the place of the alcohol? I drank to deal with the pain ~~~ I'd been an emotional mess for a long time and while therapy was good, we weren't getting to the cause of the pain soon enough!

Well, I needn't have worried. My AA home group kept me so busy that I didn't have time to think about drinking. After I had some time under my belt and didn't rely so heavily on my AA group, I found that by working the steps of AA I was actually working on myself -- and I was able to figure out what the pain was that I was medicating!

Since then I don't know how I had TIME to drink. I've gotten back to old hobbies I'd given up, plus picked up a couple more. I haven't drank in almost 18 years -- and I don't miss it at all.

when i stopped drinking years ago i felt i'd lost my best friend. i went thru the range of emotions similar to a death of a loved one. i was told to stay away from ppl, places, and things that i identified with my drinking history. i said, WHAT??!! it was hard at first. my best friends all drank and most of them drank like me. when i first got sober i thought, OMG what am i going to do with all this time every day!!! (you see everything i did was with a drink in my hand. it became a major job. it told me what i was and wasn't going to do). i was scared to death with all that empty time/void. there's a saying in AA...don't get hungry,angry, lonely, or tired, "H.A.L.T." or you will probably drink. it is true. "lonely" was my biggest bugaboo. at first it was difficult with my friends gone. so much time to deal with. i stayed sober and basically rebuilt my life. i developed sober friends thru AA. AA is more than a program to help keep you sober. it's the fellowship of really cool ppl trying to learn to live without a drink. they're funny, witty and intelligent for the most part. we fill our days/weekends with cookouts. etc. my very best friends i found in AA. they care about me unconditionally. so that is one way i filled the void-new friends, social events with sober ppl and meetings. today i try to help the next person. offering them the hope i found. 21 years later i still don't go to bars. that "monkey on my back" is still there. the rapricious creditor-alcohol, john barleycorn...waiting, waiting, etc. i have learned to be comfortable eating out with friends in a restaurant that serves booze. it took 5 yrs. at macdonalds before i could do this. even in the far reaches of a restaurant at first i could hear the cubes of ice going into a glass. i'd salivate! so many triggers.
i developed new activities or resumed things i had left behind when i drank. like my art. like reading. learning how to research genealogy for myself and later for my friends-a new interest! i have friends now that are normal drinkers too. slowly i let go of my anonymity with friends i trusted. i can now enjoy time with them or for us to go out. you see they don't drink like i did. alcohol is not the primary focus of their life like it was for me. now my life is so full and busy i don't know how i'd put drinking into the mix too.
it takes "T.I.M.E.", this i must earn, but the payoff was worth it. my life is so enriched today. today i feel happy, joyous and FREE!!! sorry for the long post, byz. i hope something i've said may help anyone wondering how it can be done. this is my story basically.

Nothing to be sorry about, madisgram. We learn from each other.