[hedgehogfog]

I am not sure i am posting in the right place, so please re-direct me if i am wrong. The story is a bit long...
I am 30 y/o, married and have 2 kids. I gave birth couple of months ago and currently on maternity.
I was working for a company for couple of years before i left to maternity. I had a boss which we had a very good relationship with, worked perfectly fine together. Once he invited me to go with him to a business trip and i think it all started from there. It was a process, don't know how this exactly happened but many times he was telling me very private things related to the job, showing me other people's working reviews, basically telling me who has w hich problems, telling me even that he faked documents and numbers to show to the management! I was a bit shocked at the beginning, but always kept things to myslef and never told anyone anything. He knew that and continued sharing with me a lot. Just to mention, i didn't need to know all those things as part of my job. Once he even fired someone because of me. He always supported what i asked him, let me do what i want, gave me good reviews and raised a salary. Once there was an opportunity to another business trip and he was trying so hard to make me go with him, so i felt uncomfortable! I really wasn't needed at this trip though. Time passed by, and i started feeling that i am getting attached to this man. Usually he could hide well what he thinks, so it was hard to know really. What i noticed though is the way he was looking at me, he has hypnotic gaze, like piercing with his eyes, very strong eye contact without blinking, he was looking at me like that, many times the eyes moved to my lips. I felt very aroused! Omg, this gaze was killing me! I have to mention that many times this man lied as well, even to me, but i always ignored. There was something else weird, looked like he was playing games with me. Since i felt attachment i tried to avoid it and stopped coming to his office often, just for work related issues, i played cold a bit. But then he started to be nervous, looking at me with question mark and running around, sending stupid emails and smiling. i couldn't, i gave up, always. He always felt my mood! This happened many times, so it can't be accidental.

I left on maternity and meanwhile he quit the company. There was a leave party which i attended. And even there he was looking at me weirdly... That day he sent me a message at mid night thanking me for coming and that it was nice to see me, i was surprised a bit since he told me that when i left. Then there was another party for someone else that quit and me and him attended it too. He gave me this gaze of his again, but was playing cold! he didn't want to look at the photos of my baby, when other people were actually asking me to show them. I was upset, i will tell the truth. But then at the end of the evening, he prposed me a lift home! I refused, since i had my own car that day. When we went out he started to 'cry' how bad he was treated when he left the company and telling me how much he tries to keep in touch with everyone, that's why he invited some people to his house for a sport game and had lunch with other employees as well. And me? I wasn't included in all those. Why he was telling me this? I have no f**** idea... But it felt bad! And not only because i am attached to him, but for every employee that had good relationship. Then he was showing me how much he is into what he is going on in the old company. He was still digging into on going staff, even though he left! He knew every single detail. I even asked him why he is doing that, he quit already.
I wanted to add him on FB, but he never accepted or denied, even though he accepted other people requests. i wasn't adding him when he was my boss, only when he quit, but still.
That's pretty much all the background.
My problem is the sexual addiction to this man. I need help! I am very rational person and i don't understand his behavior at all! Why he was doing all the things i described above? I have very good supportive relationship with my husband, i don't want to betray him. But i am thinking so much about this other man! He caused me to cry by his behavior Yes, i have kids, i have to take care of them. I do that! I need to grow up, but i can't. I am trying to get myself hobbies, i am reading some professional books not to forget things. I spend time my my hubby. I do all these! But it doesn't help me at all. I want to see that man (btw, he is married with kids as well), i want him physically. I am getting into depression because of him , but i really want to get out of this.
Please can someone help me!

[StarPonysMama]

Cease and decist is all I can say. I was with a man that I was completely and TOTALLY ADDICTED TO. Yes it is possible. I was with a man for two years that cheated on me left and right but in my mind..........I literally thought I could not LIVE without him. Then on to the next one.........another addictive relationship........purely physical (sexual) addiction. He actually ended up trying to kill me. I believe that love and lust can have effects of a drug. The only way to stop is to stop. It's hard but it can be done. ((((hegehogfog)))))

[ProfesionalCrazy]

Originally Posted by hedgehogfog

I am not sure i am posting in the right place, so please re-direct me if i am wrong. The story is a bit long...
I am 30 y/o, married and have 2 kids. I gave birth couple of months ago and currently on maternity.
I was working for a company for couple of years before i left to maternity. I had a boss which we had a very good relationship with, worked perfectly fine together. Once he invited me to go with him to a business trip and i think it all started from there. It was a process, don't know how this exactly happened but many times he was telling me very private things related to the job, showing me other people's working reviews, basically telling me who has w hich problems, telling me even that he faked documents and numbers to show to the management! I was a bit shocked at the beginning, but always kept things to myslef and never told anyone anything. He knew that and continued sharing with me a lot. Just to mention, i didn't need to know all those things as part of my job. Once he even fired someone because of me. He always supported what i asked him, let me do what i want, gave me good reviews and raised a salary. Once there was an opportunity to another business trip and he was trying so hard to make me go with him, so i felt uncomfortable! I really wasn't needed at this trip though. Time passed by, and i started feeling that i am getting attached to this man. Usually he could hide well what he thinks, so it was hard to know really. What i noticed though is the way he was looking at me, he has hypnotic gaze, like piercing with his eyes, very strong eye contact without blinking, he was looking at me like that, many times the eyes moved to my lips. I felt very aroused! Omg, this gaze was killing me! I have to mention that many times this man lied as well, even to me, but i always ignored. There was something else weird, looked like he was playing games with me. Since i felt attachment i tried to avoid it and stopped coming to his office often, just for work related issues, i played cold a bit. But then he started to be nervous, looking at me with question mark and running around, sending stupid emails and smiling. i couldn't, i gave up, always. He always felt my mood! This happened many times, so it can't be accidental.

I left on maternity and meanwhile he quit the company. There was a leave party which i attended. And even there he was looking at me weirdly... That day he sent me a message at mid night thanking me for coming and that it was nice to see me, i was surprised a bit since he told me that when i left. Then there was another party for someone else that quit and me and him attended it too. He gave me this gaze of his again, but was playing cold! he didn't want to look at the photos of my baby, when other people were actually asking me to show them. I was upset, i will tell the truth. But then at the end of the evening, he prposed me a lift home! I refused, since i had my own car that day. When we went out he started to 'cry' how bad he was treated when he left the company and telling me how much he tries to keep in touch with everyone, that's why he invited some people to his house for a sport game and had lunch with other employees as well. And me? I wasn't included in all those. Why he was telling me this? I have no f**** idea... But it felt bad! And not only because i am attached to him, but for every employee that had good relationship. Then he was showing me how much he is into what he is going on in the old company. He was still digging into on going staff, even though he left! He knew every single detail. I even asked him why he is doing that, he quit already.
I wanted to add him on FB, but he never accepted or denied, even though he accepted other people requests. i wasn't adding him when he was my boss, only when he quit, but still.
That's pretty much all the background.
My problem is the sexual addiction to this man. I need help! I am very rational person and i don't understand his behavior at all! Why he was doing all the things i described above? I have very good supportive relationship with my husband, i don't want to betray him. But i am thinking so much about this other man! He caused me to cry by his behavior Yes, i have kids, i have to take care of them. I do that! I need to grow up, but i can't. I am trying to get myself hobbies, i am reading some professional books not to forget things. I spend time my my hubby. I do all these! But it doesn't help me at all. I want to see that man (btw, he is married with kids as well), i want him physically. I am getting into depression because of him , but i really want to get out of this.
Please can someone help me!

Hi...

I too am addicted to a man. It is ruining my life and I know it, but I can not cut this person off without feeling even more miserable.

After I first met him and realized he was poisen to me, I stopped all communication with him for 18 months. I was depressed the entire time and thought about him constantly, although I tried every distraction suggested to me to stop thinking about him.

I contacted him again, only to re-realize he was a looser, user & abuser and cut him off again. That lasted almost a year, and then I tracked him down for another shot at total self-destruction.

It has been almost about 16 months this time. I left my husband and two children for this man and everything that I thought ever mattered to me.

About every few days I discover another lie, another theft of my property or money, or even about another woman (two that I know of). I have put my health and life at risk by trusting the faithfulness of this person, and am relieved to be left untouched by an STD.

I have slowly been building back a relationship with my husband...soon to be ex-husband after this betrayal to him, and my children. The only reason they have allowed me back into their lives is because I told them I no longer see my addiction (man). I live with this horrible lie constantly and it is eating me alive. If they find out this man is in my life at all, none of them will want contact with me, yet I risk loosing them, the most important and life-sustaining things I have, in order to see this man who only takes....and takes and takes.

I ask myself daily, "What is wrong with me??? God, please help me!!!!", yet I can not end things with this man.

I fear the only way out, in all seriousness, is if one of us dies. I am not suicidal at this time, but I can not see how the continual erosion of my existance could result in anything else but serious depression, and perhaps suicide. I am not homicidal at this time either, but have definately felt this way towards him more than a few times. These emotions of mine do not phase him at all...he remains nonplussed even when I have physically attacked him and obtained a restraining order against him, which we both ignore.

It is total Insanity. I get nothing out of having him in my life except more stress, anxiety, and endless problems. We had an amazing physical relationship at first, but that ended for me over a year ago. He is financially dependant upon me and chooses near homelessness or the very real threat of jail for being an uninsured motorist, etc., instead of taking responsibility for himself.

I would love to hear about any other similar situations from anyone in hopes that I may find some way to solve this mess.

I hope that my brief account will serve as a cautionary tale...cut it off and don't look back before you get involved further. It is just like quicksand.