Sex Addiction

I know it aint drugs or alchol but im addicted to sex. not only with my partner but who ever tells me im pretty or sexy. Me and my partner have split up because he found out about my problem and now im lonely. What do I do. We have 2 kids together and he takes care of my oldest daughter like she is his. He said he knew about the problem but thought i would fix it my self, i asked why he never said anything and he said he should not have to. I love him to death and I misss him. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If your very serious about getting life back to the way you would prefer it to be, I would seek help. Like therapy, sex addicts anonymous, and possibly medication.

Sex addiction is just as severe as drug and alcohol addiction. It can kill the normal life you once had, and even put you at risk of serious diseases.

The first step was becoming aware and admitting that there was a problem. Which you already had done. I think you can beat this, and possibly get your man back.

Good Luck,
Desirae

I know that it seems funny SEX ADDICTION some people say that aint an addiction. but i am truley addicted and can't stop. i try and tell my self its wrong its wrong but find mysel doing it again anyways. i feel guilty afterwards, but I can't seem to quit on my own. I have no extra money to pay for a therapist and i don't know what else to do. i am lonely now and it makes it hard to stay non-sexual.
Help Please

Lynde - that is a totally real addiction and don't you let anyone tell you it's not. It's too bad -- we had another member here about a year and a half ago with the same problem, but he doesn't post anymore. I think you're the only one here right now, but maybe we can help you anyway. Stick around, and maybe introduce yourself in the General forum so that people know you're here and can say hi.

Hi lynde! You found the place where people understand your addiction. I recently saw a documentary on sex addiction on Discovery Health and one of the guys on the show really benefited from a 12-step program. I know there are Sex Addicts Anonymous programs, though I'm not sure how abundant they are. The 12 steps have done WONDERS for me and my alcoholism. I know therapy is very expensive, so if you're open to it, I would be willing to work the steps with your through email or PM here, at least to get your started and see if you like it. There IS hope, there IS a solution and you CAN stop, and we'll help you. =) Welcome home.

~Rayna

The 12 step groups are a great idea, I think some even have online meetings also.

There are also good books out on this topic. At amazon.com you can do a search on "sex addiction" and look over what comes up, lots listed. You can then either buy through their site or another bookstore, and/or can get them through your public library. Some books are how to workbooks, others are first person stories.

Sex Addicts Anonymous
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Hi,

This is in response to the person with sexual addiction. My problem is masturbation addiction and while it is not the exact same thing, the symptoms are almost identical. The biggest problem for me is the physical symptoms I experience because I don't rest for a couple of weeks to allow my body to heal itself. I get a plethora of problems like: back-ache, dry skin, depression (to the point of crying, this is caused by a depletion of certain chemicals in the brain from masturbating), needles and pins, confusion, distorted vision and that's only a sample.

Not only is that a problem but I also spend ages on-line getting myself aroused. So it now seems that am addiction to two things - the computer and the act itself.

I was really suprised at the way it crept up on me over a couple of years. Before I knew it I was in full blown addiction to the point where nothing was coming out when I orgasamed. The more I did it, the more I wanted to do it. It was and is sometimes, a vicious circle.

Check out a site called herbolove.com. Don't bother with the product they are selling, but read the personal stories and symptoms attributed to sexual addiction. I found it very helpful.

Today, I have it under better control, but nowhere near what might be considered healthy. I also am in counselling where I was able to open up and tell another person about my 'secret' and this in it's own way help reduce the frequency a bit.

I hope this helps

Regard,

Martin.

I don't know but I'm not sure there is such a thing as sex addiction except in the minds of the sexually repressed and perhaps OCD sufferers. I think the idea has been promoted by those who think that sex is basically evil. IDK

PS- I would recommend that everyone stay away from the harmful 12 step cult.

I can so relate to what you have said lynde and barrett. Struggled with both with others and masturbation and no down it had nothing to do with being sexually repressed OCD or thinking sex is evil. It 's a fix and so hard to explain to those who have not been there. I am so grateful for the lady I met who was able to be open about her sex addiction cuz I was ready to kill myself thinking it was the only way to stop it for me. I about lost my husband. That's all I can say about it at this point. Just wanted you to know you are not alone and yes it can get better. You can pm me if you like.
mlyn

Check out this website.... it has greatly helped both my husband and myself through his own sexual addiction (lust).
The doctor on this website has been both the patient and the therapist, so he really does understand both the struggle and the wounds.

LINK: http://www.intimatematters.com/

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I think that Lynde has left the building...

I am new here, and relate totally with Barrett1965 on the masturbation addiction. I lump it into internet/porn/masturbation/sexual stimulation addiction.

As for it not being a "real" addiction, let's remember that within (most) of our lifetimes, alcoholism was considered a weakness of character, and depression was ignored as well.

I am seeking a good sex addiction therapist on Long Island NY, and will be going (back) to my SLAA meetings this weekend.

The difference from this time and last time I tried (2003) is that I am scared now, and repulsed by my behavior, and this weekend, I am going to purge the 4000 or so text stories, 2000 or so photo images and hundreds of erotic video clips from my computer.

I've never done this before, but I want to beat this. Will keep you posted on my progress. Wish me luck gang.

shamed

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am sooooooooooooooo PROUD of YOU!! - you are doing some thing that takes a lot of courage and you will be rewarded for your efforts in the long run, both spiritually and within your love life.... I feel that you will succeed this time around for YOU now hate the habit/addiction more than you need it.

Please let me know if you need any extra support or a shoulder to lean/cry on.... I have dealt with my husbands past porn addiction and that of my own addiction.... but like I said: “THE PAST”, being behind us but never forgotten so that it does not return to devour our soul again.

BTW - if you have not read any of the books or websites by Dr. Douglas Weiss please do so today.... he is AWESOME for he has been there done that (20 yrs) and now he is set FREE!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Laughing ........................... and that MEANS what exactly?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

srry don't mean any disrespect. just confused

No disrespect taken by ME.... What are you confused about? - How can I help you to better understand?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I think your sex "addiction" if u will is not nessesarily the sex you are addicted to.. its the feelings u feel ..as if someone actually cares about you and you feel wanted and sex... I dont beleive u need sex addiction therapy.. i think u need help uplifting your self esteem.. and also ..even tho now you have realized what you have lost.. but b4 that realized what you had.. I think i can relate when i say... I wanted to beleive everything was bad in my relationship..but nothing really was.. i was being treated like a queen.. I just wanted the extra attention... to feel wanted.. because i wasnt feeling it too much like i was at the beginning of our relationship.. And ask yourself were you trying to say nice things to ur Signif other?.. probably not.. and u would get lost... with others who would compliment you.. So i say.. go out and buy a new outfit.. get some new make up ... new hairstyle.. and everything and look at yourself and founf out whats truely beatiful about yourself?... or thinks you are good at?.. took me a while to think what i was good at..most ppl are like ..music ,sports..yadda yadda.. and at the time none of those were mine.. but then i realized that i was the thumb war champ.. thats something?... might not seem like it but it is and it made me happy to know that there was something i was good at?.. It may take time ..but things will most all the time get better if u get some change and positive in your life!!!! and when u feel those old feeling that u get when u get around someone whos making u feel good.. just stop and think about it.. is sleeping with them going to make u feel good.. or knowing you are respecting yourself?... because respect is a thing that is really needed in yourself esteem! hope i can help

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mztwizler said:
I think your sex "addiction" if u will is not nessesarily the sex you are addicted to.. its the feelings u feel ..as if someone actually cares about you and you feel wanted and sex... I dont beleive u need sex addiction therapy.. i think u need help uplifting your self esteem..

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SORRY!! - but I have to disagree.... for one does become addicted to SEX just like one becomes addicted to DRUGS.... the body releases a chemical into the body when ones has an "O" and over time the body desires more of it (a chemical high) - hence the addiction.

SEX is now their drug of choice, as to stop the inner pain.... they need help to stop its use.

But like all addictions..... this one to can be healed with the proper therapy.... and with that the self esteem will recover and grow.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

. Well disagree all u want. I was directing what i think towards lynde..not anyone else reading this thread.. And How many people do u know have orgasms with people they dont know or have unconditional love for?..not many?..because why? orgasms are when a woman lets down all that she has and has to be comfortable with the partner?

One word..................... PORN .... men and women have sex with these people every day and every hour of their lives (and with in a marriage)..... hence the sexual addiction.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

??? i dont think they just pick up a sex addict off the streets to make porn, these...mostly women.. men dont matter too much.. are beautiful people.. who can use that advatage to make easy money just by having sex with someone?.. i dont see it too much as an addition..mearly sexiness taken advatage of

No.... I am talking about the MEN & LADIES that look at PORN and Pleasure themselves while looking at that smut..... they are creating a sexual addiction that will be hard to break.... for it is a chemical drug that cannot be gotten rid of so easily for it comes from ones brain.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

? u make a point, but that has nothing to do with the post?... masturbation is not going around and sleeping with loads of people?... masturbation is one thing, but having a partner and being unable to stay committed to them is another..

Masturbation does have a lot to do with this post.... for most of it is done while fantasizing, either with a sexual pic or from a persons mental rolodex (sexual images).... both can lead to or be a source of sexual addiction.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -