I have not been drinking and feel good about my sobriety. However today, near the 14 year anniversary of my brother's death, grief has stolen up on me and I'm rather desperate for a drink. I won't have one, I'm sure of it, but that's hardly any solace. I just miss the poor bastard. And he didn't know what he was doing when he exited this world by his own hand. I don't think he would have gone through with it, had he known the trail of tears that has followed. So I am just going to sit here and let this storm surge of grief wash over me until it's past. And not drink. And maybe write a memoriam. And then try and go back to work on my house because finishing it will bring a world of peace to me that I have not known in some time. On that note, I wish each one of you another 24 hrs of peace and sobriety. You're darlings for reading, even if you don't post.

[madisgram]

gulasso sorry you're grieving about your brother. i know you miss him in your life. i totally understand...bgf did the same and it still sometimes haunts me. also thanks for sharing this with those of us who know where u're coming from. when we do share i think it takes the power away from what we're up against on any given day. how bout an AA meeting today to share your thoughts and get some support?just stay in the moment or hour, etc. this too shall pass.

You're right Madisgram, just a little sharing seemed to make a difference. Thank you for that. Why I can do that with total strangers and not with friends is beyond me. But that's all I needed, to get over the hump. I'm back at work, putting the garden to bed for the year. And doing as you suggested, going to a meeting tonight. Peace.

[alwaysrejoice]

Hope you continue to feel better.

[chalmette70043]

Hi gulas. I'm sorry you've lost your friend and going through the anniversary now. The anniversaries can be rough, but stay strong. Work on the house, get some stuff done. Keep yourself busy.

chalmette