[hopefultoday]

I stopped drinking almost 5 months ago. I've been seeing a therapist and joined some online support groups, but I just can't go to a meeting. I've driven past about 6 of them. I've sat in the parking lot of one. But why can't I get out of my car and walk in? Anyone else have this problem & how do I get past this?

It's absolutely wonderful that you were able to quit something you knew intuitively was destroying you. You don't say if it was something dramatic that brought you to that point but it's always better if it's not, that it's rather the growing realization that your life is unmanageable (in the language of the first step of AA) and the growing willingness and determination to put an end to the madness. Congratulations.

Now, for the meeting. If you have a friend, take her or him with you. They don't have to do anything but say their first name to the group. And for that matter, that's all you have to do. No one expects you to speak initially and there is never any pressure to do so. Just go and listen and I think all your fears will completely evaporate by the end of your first meeting. It's good if it's a bigger meeting, 20 or 30 people. Until you're used to the setting, smaller groups may make you too nervous to really get the full benefit of the experience. Remember, the people in there are from all walks of life-working class, professionals, all are represented. The amount of collective wisdom you can absorb there is worth more than a year of therapy, IMHO. Just get a friend and go. If you really don't like it, you don't ever have to go back.

[madisgram]

congrats on your 5 months sobriety! so glad u want to give AA a try. just remember everyone whose walked thru the door of an AA room had to go thru if for the first time too. you don't need to do anything but listen. lots of supportive, friendly people there. u can take a friend if that helps. i wish u well. keep us posted on your progress. we care. AA saved my life.

[Willcat]

Congrats on your 5 months, your are doing something right.

Not sure what your reluctance is to entering the meeting room. Maybe go early wile there are only a few people in the room and that way you can get a feel for things before everybody shows up.

[splitimage]

I was really nervous about going to my first AA meeting too.

There are two kinds of meetings, open & closed.

Open meetings - anyone can go to, so you can bring a non-alcoholic friend for support. They're usually, or at least up here they are, speaker meetings, meaning there are some readings at the beginning, and then someone gets up and shares their experience with drinking, getting sober, and how life is today. I found those meetings a lot less intimidating to start, since nobody expects you to talk. I only went to open meetings for the first little while.

Closed meetings are usually smaller and are discussions, of the big book, the steps, or a topic. I like them a lot better now, and they're mainly what I go to. Even at those meetings if you don't feel like talking, you can say something like "I just want to listen tonight."

Good luck with it, and I hope that you can get up the courage to go. AA's helped me a lot.

splitimage

[hopefultoday]

Thanks everyone. In the long run I know going to AA meetings will help me stay sober. I have started the steps with an online sponsor and have joined a few online AA groups. A few friends have offered to go with me to a meeting and that might be what I have to do. I get so nervous around people anyway and then add a room full of strangers at an AA meeting. I'm sure some shame is coming with this too. I'll just have to keep trying.

Thanks again.