[DespondentDaisy]

Ok, so it HAD been 8 months since I last smoked weed, until the 1st of january, and then the third and the fifth and then yesterday. I told myself it was just for the new year, and then when I first did it, it wasn't that fun because I smoked more than I could handle after not smokiing for so long. Then the other couple of times I guess it was fun. I'm about to do it again but I feel bad., I haven't told my brother or my friend or my ex or my new therapist about this. I think it's nothing, like it doesn't count- it's not continual- If I clean myself up after today then I can donate my red blood cells again in two months, because I last donated in October of 2011 and so you have to wait like 4 months or something- I got clean also to be able to donate blood, it's something I've always wanted to do regularly. Did you know that only 4% of the population donates their blood? Mainly because mostly everyone else can't, whether it high aspirin levels, other medications, drugs, alcohol, new tattoos etc. (One of the head dude started talking to me about that when I was there) Anyway, I'm feeling guilty about it-mainly about not being truthful, but mostly mad at myself for being such a hypocrite. At least I know it'll be out of my system quickly because I'm not a regular user again- Next time it'll be my birthday.

[RapidFlyer]

Sorry your feeling bad. It sounds like you have no problem quitting. it also sounds like you might have a tough time staying stopped. Have you ever considered that idea? I know when I tried to stay stopped I found it nearly impossible without outside help. I could quit anytime, but I could not stay stopped for anything.

Hope I haven't offended you. RF

[RaggedyAnn67]

I know that guilty feeling all too well. It is important that you try and avoid that self condemnation though. Everyone messes up (addicts or not). So what? Move on. You can make that choice again to stop. There is life without acting on whatever we are addicted to. Try going to an NA meeting to get your head clear again. There are plenty of people that you can surround yourself with that have made that mistake over and over again until they reached their destination of abstinence. Try getting yourself around other people who you can relate with. Being alone with the guilt brings us down and interupts the process towards abstinence. Try calling someone if you can. Don't dwell on the call; just do it. (I always have had trouble with that and learned to just pick up my list and dial a number or two until I found someone.) I also started calling the local Crisis Line to talk to someone too. I often had really good listeners on the end of that line!!
Please, try not to let the guilt consume you. You made it 8 months!! Getting to abstinence is often a process. You can do it if you keep trying.

[DespondentDaisy]

Weed isn't a narcotic though.

[roads]

Originally Posted by DespondentDaisy

Weed isn't a narcotic though.

Sorry to disappoint you, D-Daisy, but while the actual plant is not a narcotic, Tetrahydrocannabinol or THC, the substance in marijuana that gets you high, is a narcotic.

[DespondentDaisy]

That explains a lot.

[Neurontin]

Originally Posted by DespondentDaisy

That explains a lot.

Thats way to funny Daisy...Not the smoking weed part but the quote above....They use to call me Peter the pothead. I loved my weed. I would still be smoking it if it did what it use to do. Get the munchies...sleep well, feel good, very social. NOW....All the opposites...anxiety, paranoid, cant eat, and cant sleep...etc...etc...Yeah its a drug for me....Im no longer Peter the pothead Im just Peter. I could stop...or stay stopped...but I just didnt want to...It felt so good when I smoked. Now I feel terrible....So I used up all my rights of smoking weed...lol,....I wish you luck and hang in there...your time you can get back..."IF YOU WANT IT".....Thanks, Peter