[AShadow721]

When is enough enough? I think the lines already been crossed, but I don't want to give on him, then get a phone call that he's dead or in jail again. My husband WAS a recovering meth addict. He's having a terrible relapse right now. He was clean for 3 years. When he was released from jail, he was in for 4 years, he met up with his brother and old roommate, who eventually got him to get high once again. Once turmed imto occasionally. Occasionally turned into every weekend. I struggled to hold on. I was disappointed and broken-hearted. I took his house key away from him everytime he used and always told him how I felt about it.

One week in late August, his little sister left our home for basic training, we found out we could lose our apt (which we did, but months later), and our daughter was born. All in the same week. I thought he'd never touch meth again after she was born. I mean when our son was born, I quit smoking weed for good. I thought he'd feel the same way I did. Yes, that was just weed, but I struggled with quitting for years. I also quit smoking cigarettes at the same time, which was very difficult.

Anyway, after our daughter was born, those every weekends turned into all weekend. I caught him smoking in the bathroom. I had forbid him to smoke in my apt, especially with the kids at home. Despite, he continued to. If he did not, he was gone all weekend.

Since, he was bining on the weekend, he was too tired to go to work and so he began smoking before work. My family came to stay with us in November for my sister's wedding, so he tired to quit. But did not succeed. When they left, he started doing it harder. And started smoking in the living room at night.

Eventually, he started missing work and being late, bc when he fell asleep he was impossible to wake up. So he started shotting up as well and smoking all night so he would be awake for work.

Through out this, this is a lot of emotional and verbal abuse from him. He's said he wants to leave me. He's said that most women are better than me. Aftrr all I've done for him. He's said he wants to have his own place, live alone, with no woman or kids. He says he doesn't need me. He says his father, uncle, aunt, brother, and sister "don't talk about shhh", so he "don't need them" either. He says he wishes he was the only person on the planet.

He broke my bedroom door in in our apt and one night, he took out his pipe and started lighting it with our 4 month old daughter sitting in her swing right in front of him. When I saw him, I ran and picked her up, brought her to my room and closed the door asap. Our room, became mine and my daughter's room in late November. He stopped sleeping in our bed. It's felt like he's back in prison. When we had to move from my apt, bc of his record, he said he wanted a 4 bedroom so he could have his own room to do whatever he wants and not "f@&/" with us.

I didn't get a 4 bedroom. Now today, he smoked in our 3 year old son's room, then took his clothes out of the closet and hung them up in the garage, then he came and punched a huge hole in our bedroom door AND broke the door in, bc I had the door locked while I was feeding my daughter, and about to fall asleep with my kids. I just got out of the hospital after being on IV antibiotics for 4 days and I still sick, but okay with regular antibiotics, so yes, I'm going to be sleeping a lot. And while I was at the hospital, he cursed out the nursing staff, came in listening to a very profane and sexual song on his phone radio on high volume, and wrote "you suck a&@ for real, never be a real woman" on the nurse's dry erase board in my room. Which I had to have the nurse and ttech help me clean off. I had to keep my daughter with me by myself at the hospital, bc he want to take her babysitters all weekend, while he WASN'T working, even in the middle of the night and he couldn't give me the name, number, etc. of the person he was going to have watch our daughter over night. So I said no and that's what he wrote on the board in my room.

Sorry it's such a long story. I don't have anyone to talk about this to. What should I do? I miss my husband, the person he is when he's not on drugs. I wish for my daughter to know him and my son to npt have to deal with what I am. And I love him. I don't want to give up on him. My mom just paid all this money to help me get this house and I don't want up and leave either, bc I can't afford it without him. We just moved in 2 weeks ago.

[RapidFlyer]

The only thing I want to say is:

What is more important?

Your life and the lives of your children or being with a drug addicted maniac who is violent and gets his jollies abusing you and the kids?

How important if your life and your children's lives compared to a building?

I wish you the best.

[Yoda]

I am so sorry you are going through this. My BF started using meth and became a different person. I tried to help him change because we had 7 good years together before he started using. He did rehab for 2 months but relapsed which led to his death.

In my opinion you need to give him an ultimatum to quit using altogether or move out. No using once in awhile. No more verbal abusing you.