[madisgram]

when i sought help for my addiction i learned some amazing/negative things about myself. i had many beliefs about myself that were self-defeating. i had lost any self esteem cause i believed the programming i had incorporated in my perception of self. "i didn't do life well" i would say. i had no coping skills. i had no idea about self but the false beliefs. thus i abused alcohol to numb everything. i thought it was the only solution to rid myself of these feelings.
then abusing alcohol/alcoholism became the next big problem. i was caught in a vicious cycle. lack of self esteem, not knowing how to cope with life stuff, depression, then drinking it all away, ad finitum.
i, with the help of my T, realized i needed to tackle the things i needed to change. if i didn't i would always return to my addiction. it felt like it was the only way out. i really wasn't living life. i existed. no more no less. i felt "i was just breathing air."
i needed to find out who i really was rather than reverting back to the dismal, hopeless ways i thought were true. so addiction and hopelessness went hand in hand.
how can we learn to develop a new way of thinking? what work(ed) for you? how do false beliefs become a self fufilling prophecy? what tools have you learned to change those beliefs to sustain sobriety?

[likewater]

I put good things to remember on index cards and carried them in my pocket where i could look all day. Sometimes still have a saying at my desk. Have charm bracelets i look at that say positive things. I used to binge drink and cut. Now more tempted to cut than binge drink, but your thread is a great reminder to stop negative tapes. :-) even if the negative things i tell myself dont make me cut, they sure ake me less functionable.

I applaud you along your journey to healing and sobriety. Hugs.

[Perna]

I try not to judge myself and my beliefs. I don't think of them as true/false but just as what I am currently thinking (and I check to make sure I know what it is I am currently thinking and feeling) and then I think about how I would like things to be and go working on how I can make that happen.

I did not like when I caught myself putting myself down in my head so I countered with supporting thoughts and nit picking the negative thoughts (they're usually vague so easy to make fun of and they have no arguments of their own to support themselves with; being "stupid," for example, is kind of meaningless as we're not all one thing or another ever and a mistake is not stupidity but an opportunity to learn, etc.).

Currently I am working daily with a phrase I ask myself as often as I can think to: "Is THIS what you want to do?" Works for any activity; eating, drinking, being on the internet, watching TV; I just check with myself often to make sure I'm doing at that moment what I want to be doing at that moment, a kind of mindfulness of an unobtrusive sort.

[Ortus]

For me, they were different points in sobriety where different strategies were used. They went in this order. While I have a long way to go, I'm miles and miles away from the woman I was five years ago when I first got sober. Here's my therapeutic history:

1.) Alcoholics Anonymous (first three years)
2.) CBT therapy with an emphasis on cognitive thought distortions for a year (4th year sober)
3.) ACT Therapy: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (currently in therapy for and love it)

When I first got sober AA was the way. It kept me busy and the peer support and 12 Steps were vital. After three years, it was time for me to explore cognitive therapy routes.

[gma45]

My tool box is empty! No really, what I do is try to change the negative tapes in my head with positive ones, and start to be more active because I notice when I just sit around I get bored then depression sets in. I also get on the computer and come here to get ideas which has really helped as I don't have a T to talk to. Keep smiling!