[tracist514]

Well I'm not sure where to start with this thread. I've never really opened up about my problems before so I guess here goes;

I am a 28 year old housewife who struggles with binge drinking. My 1st drink was at 15 years old. But I didn't become a heavy drinker until my late teens/early 20's. I may not drink daily now but I'd say at least 3-4 times a month and I consume large amounts of alcohol. Lets say a bottle of wine or 8-10 drinks at least. During my early 20's I drank at least 5-6 days a week, I didn't see a problem because I was still able to go to work & pay my bills. The last 4 years I've struggled with quitting and restorted to binging. At this point it's affecting my marriage. My husband is just defeated and doesn't really have much to say to me. We currently do not have children but due to my issues I'm not sure if we will. He feels I'll attempt to quit and just go back. It's been very hard without his full support over the years. I am going to be attempting my 1st AA meeting tonight. Along with that I am going to look into getting mental health. I've been dealing with depression a large part of my life and seem to have issues with anxiety as well. My grandmother and mother dealt with bipolar disorder & Manic depression. And Alcoholism is on both my mother and fathers side. I try to explain this to my spouse but he is anti-therapy & feels I should be able to change on my own. He believes these issues are not diseases and it's very hard to talk to him about any of it. I've come a very long way and have seen a lot of results on my own but I feel I need the tools/methods to get 100%. I want to know how to coup when I get very down without wanting to binge. I keep relapsing when I get depressed. It's been a hard struggle over the pass 8 years.

I decided to write because I feel so alone and I feel like a disappointment to my husband. Yes I do have a few amazing friends who are helping me through this but I guess without my spouse I feel empty in this battle. I am going to go through these steps even if he doesn't support me because I need it for myself. However his negative out look towards me isn't helping. It's only making me freak out. I guess I am writing to see if I'm not the only person going through these kinds of things. I am tired of being judged. I'm sick of hearing my disorders are not being considered diseases or problems. When clearly I can't always control how I feel or behave.

Thank you for reading. I welcome shared stories, advise, and responses.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. It IS extremely difficult when you don't have the support of your spouse!

Alcoholism IS recognized by the American Medical Society as a DISEASE -- and your husband is seriously uneducated about this. He needs to do some reading about the subject.

I doubt that he'd do it, but you might suggest that he go to some Al-Anon meetings so he can LEARN about the disease, and how he can learn to cope with it. He'll also learn how he can help support you without enabling you.

I'm so glad you're going to meetings!!! I hope you find them as helpful as I did. If your first meeting isn't necessarily a good one, don't stop going. Keep going to meetings -- then if you find they still aren't helpful, switch to another group. Sometimes particular groups aren't "right" for us and we have to find another one. But meetings ARE very necessary in our recovery! I never would have recovered if it hadn't been for meetings. Of course I'm not cured -- I'll always be recovering, but at least I'm clean/sober. In a couple of month, I'll have 19 years clean/sober -- so it DOES work if you work it.

I wish you the very best!! And if your husband still doesn't give you the support you need/want -- just plow ahead with your program of recovery and build yourself a new life! It can STILL be great as long as you're sober!! Life is wonderful without alcohol. Your AA friends will be your support -- they'll give you a call list so you can call them whenever you need someone. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[tracist514]

Thank you very much to take the time out to read and write. I've been home for a few hours after my meeting and I have to say I really felt welcomed there. For a long time I said "Oh I'm too young to have this problem" etc. But that is def not the case what so ever. It was nice to listen and be listened too without judgement being placed or feeling like I was a bad person for my drinking habits.

You are very right about my husband, who dont get me wrong is a wonderful person, however he has issues dealing with things. He def won't read up on any of this and I highly doubt he'd attend any meetings. At the moment he is upset with me and my relapse which honestly happened on Saint Patrick's Day. Hopefully in time he will realize I really do want to get sober and at least give me a chance. It would really make it easier on me if he would just support me through this. But as you said I will plow ahead with the program. I am looking to attending another meeting in the AM as well. I feel I am truly ready to go forward with AA and receive the help I need. Which was a very big step for me to finally admit.

Thanks again Lee, and congrats on 19 years sober!!

[Perna]

I would go to your doctor, have him talk to your husband? It is not a matter of "belief", it is obviously real and not something someone would "want" in their lives? Tell him to look at it pragmatically, you have a problem and getting a variety of help so you can see what might help you the most -- presumably he loves you enough to want you to be happy and healthy?

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by tracist514

I am a 28 year old housewife who struggles with binge drinking. My 1st It's been very hard without his full support over the years. I am going to be attempting my 1st AA meeting tonight. Along with that I am going to look into getting mental health. I've been dealing with depression a large part of my life and seem to have issues with anxiety as well. My grandmother and mother dealt with bipolar disorder & Manic depression. many people use alcohol or drugs to self-medicate due to depression.And Alcoholism is on both my mother and fathers side. there is a genetic component re alcoholism. I try to explain this to my spouse but he is anti-therapy & feels I should be able to change on my own. He believes these issues are not diseases the american medical assoc. and insurance companies recognize alcoholism as a disease so hubby is vastly misinformed.

http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/FAQs/General-English/Pages/default.aspx#disease and http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcoholism/DS00340 and

and it's very hard to talk to him about any of it. I've come a very long way and have seen a lot of results on my own but I feel I need the tools/methods to get 100%. i used a mix of therapy and AA and it worked!(22+yrs. sober.) your method and goals are very good ones.I want to know how to coup when I get very down without wanting to binge. I keep relapsing when I get depressed. It's been a hard struggle over the pass 8 years.

I decided to write because I feel so alone and I feel like a disappointment to my husband. Yes I do have a few amazing friends who are helping me through this but I guess without my spouse I feel empty in this battle. don't feel empty. do it for yourself.I am going to go through these steps even if he doesn't support me because I need it for myself. However his negative out look towards me isn't helping. It's only making me freak out. I guess I am writing to see if I'm not the only person going through these kinds of things. I am tired of being judged. I'm sick of hearing my disorders are not being considered diseases or problems. When clearly I can't always control how I feel or behave.

Thank you for reading. I welcome shared stories, advise, and responses.

my ex didn't support me either. said "weak people like you/me need AA" sarcastically. it hurt but i did what i had to do to regain my life. my psychologist was well versed re addictions. that was beneficial. you might want to ask that question when you are seeking therapy.
and you're not alone here. we will be your support online. i believe it's wonderful you are taking these steps to overcome your addiction and to learn how to develop coping skills. had i not done the latter i would've resorted back to the alcohol to numb my emotions. i needed new ways of living.
BTW you can't change your hubby's views but YOU can change YOU!
sorry for this long post but i hope it validates your thoughts. feel free to pm me if you like.

[tracist514]

Thank you for writing. I'm going to my next meeting tomorrow night and I'm pretty excited about it. I was nervous but happy to be there last night. As for my hubby he shocked me this morning. He walked up to me hugged me and told me he was proud I was getting help. He said that yes he was still mad and hurt but knows it wasnt easy for me to do this. So they are right about take it one day at a time, and even one minute at a time in everyday life. I plan on posting and looking for support here as well as my meetings and through councling. I appericate the post I've received And also congrats on being sober!!! I am aiming for that same goal no matter what life throws at me.

[ladyjane4rent]

I was just posting a similar story a few weeks ago.
I am 24 years old and already in AA. I started drinking when I was about 13/14 yrs old and partied hard in my later teen years. Now that I think about it, I have always been addicted to something... video games, pills, pot, drinking, cutting.. It isn't easy especially when mental health issues and alcoholism runs in my family. I don't get much support from my side of the family as they are all alcoholics and welcome drunks with open arms. But for the last 2 or 3 years I have been unable to manage bills, really racking them up and getting myself in debt. I stopped taking care of the house as much as well [in my defense it is ridiculously big and I get no help.] I love drinking, I love when I notice the first signs of a buzz and then a few drinks later I love how numb I feel. I looooove feeling numb. I would prefer pot but I respect my fiance's wishes to not smoke. Anyway, I have been drinking from at least one bottle of wine a night [I am only 5 ft tall and within BMI, so tiny] or anywhere from 3-6 beers a night for 6 years. During rare parties it will be more. I ate less dinner so I could drink more later, which has made me gain weight with all of the empty calories.
I do have support from my fiance as he is in AA with me. We have been three nights sober and, sister, it is not easy.
It is difficult dealing with quitting while facing whatever trauma you have experienced. But therapy of some kind will bring you to a healthy state of being. I think it is like climbing a mountain, in fact. But the support I get from the lovely people on this forum, plus my therapist and my fiance's family is unbelievable. I was afraid people would run and scream when they heard my story face to face, but instead they pat me on the back and help me through it. Find support and try couples counseling with Mr. Stubborn, that way you can express yourself openly in a mediated environment and the counselor can help explain things to him in a light he can see.

I am befriending you, we are going to do this! Good luck

Originally Posted by tracist514

Well I'm not sure where to start with this thread. I've never really opened up about my problems before so I guess here goes;

I am a 28 year old housewife who struggles with binge drinking. My 1st drink was at 15 years old. But I didn't become a heavy drinker until my late teens/early 20's. I may not drink daily now but I'd say at least 3-4 times a month and I consume large amounts of alcohol. Lets say a bottle of wine or 8-10 drinks at least. During my early 20's I drank at least 5-6 days a week, I didn't see a problem because I was still able to go to work & pay my bills. The last 4 years I've struggled with quitting and restorted to binging. At this point it's affecting my marriage. My husband is just defeated and doesn't really have much to say to me. We currently do not have children but due to my issues I'm not sure if we will. He feels I'll attempt to quit and just go back. It's been very hard without his full support over the years. I am going to be attempting my 1st AA meeting tonight. Along with that I am going to look into getting mental health. I've been dealing with depression a large part of my life and seem to have issues with anxiety as well. My grandmother and mother dealt with bipolar disorder & Manic depression. And Alcoholism is on both my mother and fathers side. I try to explain this to my spouse but he is anti-therapy & feels I should be able to change on my own. He believes these issues are not diseases and it's very hard to talk to him about any of it. I've come a very long way and have seen a lot of results on my own but I feel I need the tools/methods to get 100%. I want to know how to coup when I get very down without wanting to binge. I keep relapsing when I get depressed. It's been a hard struggle over the pass 8 years.

I decided to write because I feel so alone and I feel like a disappointment to my husband. Yes I do have a few amazing friends who are helping me through this but I guess without my spouse I feel empty in this battle. I am going to go through these steps even if he doesn't support me because I need it for myself. However his negative out look towards me isn't helping. It's only making me freak out. I guess I am writing to see if I'm not the only person going through these kinds of things. I am tired of being judged. I'm sick of hearing my disorders are not being considered diseases or problems. When clearly I can't always control how I feel or behave.

Thank you for reading. I welcome shared stories, advise, and responses.

[tracist514]

Originally Posted by ladyjane4rent

I was just posting a similar story a few weeks ago.
I am 24 years old and already in AA. I started drinking when I was about 13/14 yrs old and partied hard in my later teen years. Now that I think about it, I have always been addicted to something... video games, pills, pot, drinking, cutting.. It isn't easy especially when mental health issues and alcoholism runs in my family. I don't get much support from my side of the family as they are all alcoholics and welcome drunks with open arms. But for the last 2 or 3 years I have been unable to manage bills, really racking them up and getting myself in debt. I stopped taking care of the house as much as well [in my defense it is ridiculously big and I get no help.] I love drinking, I love when I notice the first signs of a buzz and then a few drinks later I love how numb I feel. I looooove feeling numb. I would prefer pot but I respect my fiance's wishes to not smoke. Anyway, I have been drinking from at least one bottle of wine a night [I am only 5 ft tall and within BMI, so tiny] or anywhere from 3-6 beers a night for 6 years. During rare parties it will be more. I ate less dinner so I could drink more later, which has made me gain weight with all of the empty calories.
I do have support from my fiance as he is in AA with me. We have been three nights sober and, sister, it is not easy.
It is difficult dealing with quitting while facing whatever trauma you have experienced. But therapy of some kind will bring you to a healthy state of being. I think it is like climbing a mountain, in fact. But the support I get from the lovely people on this forum, plus my therapist and my fiance's family is unbelievable. I was afraid people would run and scream when they heard my story face to face, but instead they pat me on the back and help me through it. Find support and try couples counseling with Mr. Stubborn, that way you can express yourself openly in a mediated environment and the counselor can help explain things to him in a light he can see.

I am befriending you, we are going to do this! Good luck

Thank you Ladyjane for sharing. I def can relate to you. I am sober for 4 days now and I have my 2nd AA meeting tonight. A very nice women there gave me a book to read called "Living Sober" I recommend it to anyone with a drinking problem. It is bringing many things to light about myself.

Regarding my husband I wrote above he actually came up to me and said he was proud that I am getting the help I need. However he is still hurt that I drank on St Pattys day. You have to remember with him he was the one who dealt with my drinking and promises to stop over a span of 6 years about. It meant alot to me for him to give me his full support, I would have done this either way but having him will make it easier to get through those tough days we all face with being acholoics.

My main problem is staying sober for months at a time now. The longest amount I was sober was 11months when I was 25 years old. I really didnt want to be. My drinking history started young. When I was between 15-17yrs old I rarely drank. By 19-25yrs old I became a heavy drinker. I am starting to remember times when I drank alone due to depression or just to feel that numbness. Once I drank a whole bottle of rum in the middle of the afternoon, meant my ex bf at work then went out for the night. I too enjoy the feeling of getting buzzed and can't seem to turn that off once I pick up a drink. It just goes to "Oh just one more". I binge to the point were I can have 13-16 beers, bottles of booze, and whole bottles of wine. There are times I even blackout. At this point I need to think of this as life or death, and I personally want life.

I accepted your friend request and I would be happy for us to support eachother during this time in our lives.

[Edge11]

Hi tracist514, welcome to pc and thanks for sharing your ESH...

[ladyjane4rent]

Originally Posted by tracist514

Thank you Ladyjane for sharing. I def can relate to you. I am sober for 4 days now and I have my 2nd AA meeting tonight. A very nice women there gave me a book to read called "Living Sober" I recommend it to anyone with a drinking problem. It is bringing many things to light about myself.

Regarding my husband I wrote above he actually came up to me and said he was proud that I am getting the help I need. However he is still hurt that I drank on St Pattys day. You have to remember with him he was the one who dealt with my drinking and promises to stop over a span of 6 years about. It meant alot to me for him to give me his full support, I would have done this either way but having him will make it easier to get through those tough days we all face with being acholoics.

My main problem is staying sober for months at a time now. The longest amount I was sober was 11months when I was 25 years old. I really didnt want to be. My drinking history started young. When I was between 15-17yrs old I rarely drank. By 19-25yrs old I became a heavy drinker. I am starting to remember times when I drank alone due to depression or just to feel that numbness. Once I drank a whole bottle of rum in the middle of the afternoon, meant my ex bf at work then went out for the night. I too enjoy the feeling of getting buzzed and can't seem to turn that off once I pick up a drink. It just goes to "Oh just one more". I binge to the point were I can have 13-16 beers, bottles of booze, and whole bottles of wine. There are times I even blackout. At this point I need to think of this as life or death, and I personally want life.

I accepted your friend request and I would be happy for us to support eachother during this time in our lives.

I am proud of you for going to your second AA meeting, it makes me think about how my second is coming up this Sunday. [I've nearly forgotten] I am happy to hear your husband is acknowledging you are trying your hardest and that he is proud of you for that. I think that gesture is going to be something that will drive you.

I have the same drinking history as you.. started about 12 or 13 years old, became a hardcore partier by 16 and was an alcoholic by 18. I also used pot often too, I was a major burn out back then. [still miss that fuzzy little green stuff...] There were days I would wake up at 10am and start off with rum and coke. That was at age 16. Right in my own bedroom at my mothers house under her nose I was getting drunk and then walking through the house like normal and no one noticed nor cared. It was their booze from the parties the nights before. It was always their booze..

Right now my biggest problem is thinking about NOT having a drink for anything like 11 months. That scares the **** out of me. No more social outings with friends that I only get to go on once a month? No more summer bon fires with beers? Not even casual drinks once in a while? That is difficult for me to wrap my head around, it really is. Because I believe I can be strong enough to only have a few drinks once or twice a months and that sounds normal and healthy, right? I believe I can be strong enough to make sure it isn't more than that and wont get out of control. But that is the alcoholic me saying that...
The sober me says just stay the heck away from it and I wont have any problems at all. Stay away and there will be no regrets. :: A f_ _ _ing battle is what it is.

Your tolerance is a lot higher than mine, we shall never have a drinking contest Let me know how your second AA goes [or went? if this is read after] Talking about everything on this forum and getting input from other people really does help me stay strong. I hope it helps you too.

[tracist514]

Originally Posted by ladyjane4rent

I am proud of you for going to your second AA meeting, it makes me think about how my second is coming up this Sunday. [I've nearly forgotten] I am happy to hear your husband is acknowledging you are trying your hardest and that he is proud of you for that. I think that gesture is going to be something that will drive you.

I have the same drinking history as you.. started about 12 or 13 years old, became a hardcore partier by 16 and was an alcoholic by 18. I also used pot often too, I was a major burn out back then. [still miss that fuzzy little green stuff...] There were days I would wake up at 10am and start off with rum and coke. That was at age 16. Right in my own bedroom at my mothers house under her nose I was getting drunk and then walking through the house like normal and no one noticed nor cared. It was their booze from the parties the nights before. It was always their booze..

Right now my biggest problem is thinking about NOT having a drink for anything like 11 months. That scares the **** out of me. No more social outings with friends that I only get to go on once a month? No more summer bon fires with beers? Not even casual drinks once in a while? That is difficult for me to wrap my head around, it really is. Because I believe I can be strong enough to only have a few drinks once or twice a months and that sounds normal and healthy, right? I believe I can be strong enough to make sure it isn't more than that and wont get out of control. But that is the alcoholic me saying that...
The sober me says just stay the heck away from it and I wont have any problems at all. Stay away and there will be no regrets. :: A f_ _ _ing battle is what it is.

Your tolerance is a lot higher than mine, we shall never have a drinking contest Let me know how your second AA goes [or went? if this is read after] Talking about everything on this forum and getting input from other people really does help me stay strong. I hope it helps you too.

** My 2nd meeting went really well. My next one isn't until Monday but thankfully I have the support at home I need to get through the weekend. I dont know if you saw above but there is a book you can get called "Living Sober" and so far it has brought so many things to light for me about my problem. I'm not sure if you attemped AA yet but it helps. If you havent just go in with an open mind. I went to one about 5 years ago and I told myself I didn't belong there and I'm not like these people. I was "too young" to be there. Now I'm giving myself over to the program for my own sanity. It's nice to meet people who can relate to you. No one judges us there because we have all been on the same path.

I def understand how hard it is and I know how scary it is to stay sober. It was always easier for me to have a few or more to "fit in" and be able to talk to people. I was always the shy kid growin up and it really did stay with me as an adult. Minus when I drank of course lol. Drinking took away my fear and helped me deal with my panic attacks in large crowds. It made me feel comfortable talking to men as well, since as a teenager I was never the pretty girl. Most guys growing up looked at me as one of them or made fun of me. Anyway I started to fully depend on booze to get by and help be "normal". Which my excuse to drink as much as I wanted lol

You are 100% correct that the alcoholic in us will lie and say "Oh I can control myself and have two". Out of personal experience I've done it so many times. The last 5 years mostly. I would quit months at a time and then say "Oh I can have two at dinner with my friends I can control this". And when you walk away from those two without getting into trouble the next time you do it again but have more, and more, and more etc. The key is never to have that 1st drink then we can't get ourselves sucked back in. I gave up a lot of friends because they still drink like I use too. I do care about some of them and know them a large amount of my life however the friendships are toxic for my recovery.

You are more then welcome to message me at any point if you feel the urge to drink. I'm learning that talking to someone helps so much even if you dont say "I'm dying for a drink" and just talk about music, weather, sports, or whatever. It still takes our mind off that 1st drink. I wish you the best and stay strong. Thank you for sharing with me

[ladyjane4rent]

I def PM you. Tonight is the ultaimate test for me and my fiance. Taking a mini vaca in a hotel, after all the fun and our daughter goes down for bed what do sober people do? Seriously? Because normally we'd be sitting quietly enjoying a drink and... can't keep my mind of thank. I am actually thinking I will regret NOT having at least ONE drink. Or two... just two... normal people have two drinks on vacation, I swear. I see it in movies all the time, lol. Maybe I should bring my sketchpad and draw a funny comic about the urge to drink then post it on here for everyone to laugh at the alcoholics inside us all. ~_^

[KeepGoing8]

GD St Pattys Day! I messed up big there too, and my housemate blacked out and lost HOURS. Keep on keeping on. I can't seem to kick the greens, but alcohol really kills my joy and happiness and I realize I cannot have it in my life AT ALL. I'm worried about my housemate. I don't know if she even knows much about alcoholism, and I'm pretty sure she considers herself "too young to be an alcoholic"...I haven't known her long, and def. don't want to throw " You're an alcoholic!" at her. But I'm worried for her health and safety.

[tracist514]

Originally Posted by KeepGoing8

GD St Pattys Day! I messed up big there too, and my housemate blacked out and lost HOURS. Keep on keeping on. I can't seem to kick the greens, but alcohol really kills my joy and happiness and I realize I cannot have it in my life AT ALL. I'm worried about my housemate. I don't know if she even knows much about alcoholism, and I'm pretty sure she considers herself "too young to be an alcoholic"...I haven't known her long, and def. don't want to throw " You're an alcoholic!" at her. But I'm worried for her health and safety.

It was always a tough day for me with drinking, but so is New Years, birthdays, parties and anywhere else I can drink. Getting through the weekends were my hardest though. I use to smoke as well but I always prefered getting drunk. I've been trying to stay sober on my own for the last few years and I always end up drinking again. AA has def been helping me right now. I finally have a homegroup and I want to up the amount of meetings I go too. I'm sober 10 days which doesnt seem like much but I feel good about it. Because I'm happy and sober. The past I use to be angry and felt I was too young, whats the big deal, etc. With your friend if shes pushed it could be the same result. Try to talk to her about drinking, I wouldnt call her an alcoholic until she can say it for herself. My husband use to struggle with me because he would just say "You're a drunk and need help" and it would just enrage me and push me away.

A friend of mine went to AA with me the other day. I didn't push him but he seems to know he has issues with drinking. But I dont think he's fully ready yet. Instead of going to a meeting with me last night he went to play darts for his bar team and had two beers (so he says). When hes ready he'll give it up but I won't push him. I would love him to just quit like me but I can't worry about that fully. I have to put myself 1st and worry about me staying sober. All you can do is talk to the person but we can never make anyone get sober unless they want to. I wish you the best and just take it one day at a time

[Perna]

Originally Posted by tracist514

but I feel I need the tools/methods to get 100%

Maybe couch your discussions with your husband in words like the above, rather than get into the rat's nest argument of whether excessive drinking is a disease or not. Tell him you understand you have to do it "on your own" as you recognize it is your problem, but that you would really like his caring support to cheer you on. You have a problem, not a moral failing that he, who does not have that particular problem, should be judging?

I would try to stay open and treat your husband as you would like him to treat you, maybe think of some activity that he could do with you to distract you from your depression/desire to drink when it hits you (and your idea to look into counseling/therapy sounds great to me). Try to move towards him rather than away, into yourself, as yourself is vulnerable to its depression and drinking at that time. When you want to drink, ask for his help, directly. See if you can coax his good self out, the self you married him for? Remind him you all are "partners".

[tracist514]

Originally Posted by Perna

Maybe couch your discussions with your husband in words like the above, rather than get into the rat's nest argument of whether excessive drinking is a disease or not. Tell him you understand you have to do it "on your own" as you recognize it is your problem, but that you would really like his caring support to cheer you on. You have a problem, not a moral failing that he, who does not have that particular problem, should be judging?

I would try to stay open and treat your husband as you would like him to treat you, maybe think of some activity that he could do with you to distract you from your depression/desire to drink when it hits you (and your idea to look into counseling/therapy sounds great to me). Try to move towards him rather than away, into yourself, as yourself is vulnerable to its depression and drinking at that time. When you want to drink, ask for his help, directly. See if you can coax his good self out, the self you married him for? Remind him you all are "partners".

Thank you for your post. The statement I made above was regarding past fights with my hubby. When I didnt want to admit I had a problem drinking. Anyone who told me I drank to much was ignored in those years of my life.

My husband is actually on board now and we have had many talks about my drinking since then. He has def opened up and started supporting me. I surely wasn't looking for fight with him when I relapsed because he is the one person who dealt with my problem behind closed doors for years. He has a right to be hurt, angry, and disappointed. I did inform him his full support would be helpful however I was doing this regardless for myself because I need to get sober. At one point he blamed himself and I also let him know my drinking was never his fault. That it was a battle I've been fighting before I even knew him. In fact he made me drink less without even asking me. My husband makes me a better person even during the hard times. I appericate him everyday.

Anyway I know its tough to read all of the posts on these things. A few days after my 1st post I wrote this below about my husband and I:: Re: Drinking//Depression...
Thank you for writing. I'm going to my next meeting tomorrow night and I'm pretty excited about it. I was nervous but happy to be there last night. As for my hubby he shocked me this morning. He walked up to me hugged me and told me he was proud I was getting help. He said that yes he was still mad and hurt but knows it wasnt easy for me to do this. So they are right about take it one day at a time, and even one minute at a time in everyday life. I plan on posting and looking for support here as well as my meetings and through councling. I appericate the post I've received And also congrats on being sober!!! I am aiming for that same goal no matter what life throws at me.