My story

I started drinking when I was 13. I realized something was wrong with me and I thought that alcohol was the only cure. I would steal beers out of my grandmas fridge and drink them in my room. My dad, who's an alcoholic would let me drink at his house. I liked it when we drank together, we'd look back on our conflicts and say "**** it." By 16, I was having my legal friends buy me bottles of creme De menthe and other cordials. I was drinking about a fifth every other day. When I became 17, my grandmother and I would have our afternoon drink, which was Jim Beam and seltzer "swamp fire" as my great grandfather would have called it. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in December of '06. She wanted me to move to Missouri to be with my mother. I arrived and found that my mother and stepfather kept beer and liquor stocked all the time.

It was halfway through Senior Year and I went to a party. I of course was the hit of the party. I was told by this girl (Who I married after graduation, but we dissolved the marriage two months later) that she dug my Boston accent and that she was from Dorchester. We drank that night.

That was the night that I blacked out for the first time.

I remember working for a major grocery chain from '07-'09. I had one of my friends buy me booze all the time. I would greedily drink it. It was in early '09 that I got drunk and punched my mother. She told me that I was out of there. I had nowhere to go, so I lived under the Blanchette Bridge in St. Charles. My fort was my castle. The other bums in the area all pooled their resources and we'd hit liquor stores up. By December, my mother was looking for me. She'd told my stepdad that I went back to Massachusetts for a while. I had lost a lot of weight.

In June of '10 I was hired by a liquor store. Even though there were cameras in there, I knew places where I could drink on the job. I never got drunk, but I got loose. I worked there until May of '11 when I was laid off due to slow business (It's true, there was a major construction project going on.) It was during March of '11 that I went into the psych ward the first time. During this time, my mom and aunt cleaned my room. I remember her visiting one night and pulling me aside "Ackman12, do you have a problem?" She asked.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"Because we found fifty liquor bottles under your bed."

"****."

"No more booze."

Two weeks later, I'm back in the ward again. I guess I had posted something on my facebook page saying I was going to kill my family. I couldn't remember, I had been drinking.

When I was diagnosed sz, I had been sober. I couldn't drink due to the meds.

I'm completely sober now. Alcohol makes me want to vomit.

Hi Ackman12, Thanks for posting your story. It reminded me of my early drinking days and also my stash of empties...

It takes me back too, as it does Edge. The whole future is yours now. Keep coming back, keep posting, let us know what we can do to help you keep going into those sober tomorrow's!
Roadie