[madisgram]

when i got sober i discovered many character defects that in my case i had always thought were good characteristics of myself. imagine my dismay when i realized they were harmful traits. such as i could always "beat up" the other guy in an argument. this was false pride and ego. i thought it of advanced intellect. i don't know how many ppl i made minced meat of with this behavior.
so i began the process of discovery about my flaws. to balance things out so i wouldn't completely beat myself up my sponsor asked i list in another column characteristics that were positive about me.
i'm still not perfect but have acquired new skills to become a better me. this brings me in harmony with serenity most days. i don't feel better than my fellow man. i was told AA was a program of CHANGE. i have learned ways to CHANGE.

The Aim is Progress and Not Perfection

When people become sober they are not expected to turn instantly into saints. In fact they are likely to become even more aware of their imperfections. This is because addition allows the individual to hide from their character flaws When people first become sober they may be alarmed to find that they have many imperfections. This is normal, and it is actually a good sign. It does not mean that recovery is causing any type of deterioration; only that they can now see things more clearly. The benefit of being able to notice character flaws is that it makes it easier to chip away with them.
There is no expectation that the individual will be able to remove every one of their character flaws. If they do somehow manage to do this then that would be wonderful, but it is not going to be a realistic aim for most people. The aim is progress and not perfection. All that is required is that people keep trying to overcome the worst of these imperfections.

Pain is the Touchstone of Recovery

It is often suggested by recovery experts that pain is the touchstone of recovery. What this means is that people will generally not make changes in their life unless things become uncomfortable. It is this discomfort that drives the individual to face their character flaws; people become so fed up with their imperfections bringing them into conflict with the world that they are motivated to tackle them. Progress in recovery occurs as people face each of these challenges and overcome them.

http://alcoholrehab.com/alcohol-reha...s-in-recovery/

[Edge11]

...Hi madisgram...

...Yeah if I got rid of all my character defects...there would be nothing left inside of me...lol...Anyway...I use to think everyone in AA was doing the right thing...This made me very insecure and self-conscious...I've come to realize that no one is perfect...More importantly I don't have to...act perfect...It's O.K. to be myself and make the changes needed so I can grow...I still like some of my defects...The most important thing is...DON'T DRINK...go to meetings and change...

...Thanks again...

[ktbelle373]

Hi! I just started going back to meetings even though i have 5yrs sober, i stoped going to meetings when i met my ex (put all my eggs in one basket!) now that im back im finding it really hard to feel comfertable with poeple in the rooms. i feel alone there. i just reallyyy want to fit right in but i know it doesnt work that way. my sponser says once i start step 4 i will feel more a part of AA. Also i feel like i want my defects to be taken away right now because i feel like they are holding me back from so much but im just going to stick with working the program and slowly building friendships, like you guys said progress not perfection!