[bjtds3]

Right now I'm really just looking for some words of encouragement. Someone I've been friends with for a few years and I have fallen completely in love. We're spending almost every day together and it's a little scary knowing that I used to drink absurd amounts before getting on antidepressants and anxiety medication. He and I drink together almost every time we see each other, which is okay because I have been in control in front of him, but I'm afraid that I'll completely lose control of my drinking or that he'll find out how much I used to drink. I'm also scared that eventually he'll have to find out that I take prescriptions for my anxiety and panic. I just started my PhD program, just put an offer in on a house, and just fell in love. I feel like I'm in control of my life but I'm hoping for some prayers and good thoughts from this community.

[splitimage]

What would it belike if you didn't drink when you got together? It's not a good idea to mix booze and meds, even if you don't have a problem. I'm glad that you found someone that you're in love with, but I'd say take it slow and when you're comfortable let him know that you used to drink a lot. Lots of people drink a lot when they're younger, and then just gradualy slo down, or was it a problem? Same thing with the meds, let him know when you're comfortable. If he loves you he won't care. Congratulations on buying the house.

splitimage

[Leed]

If you used to have a "problem" with drinking you shouldn't be drinking at all. By a "problem" I mean did you HAVE to drink -- did you NEED it and crave the drinks? Could you have just ONE and leave it at that or did you have to have more and more to the point of gettiing drunk? If you couldn't have just one, that you probably had a problem with it. If that's the case, then you really shouldn't be drinking at all.

BUT - if you THINK you're in control, be very very careful, because that one day may come when you go over that invisible line and you're on a roll. I'm sure you don't want to do that.

I would be honest with your boyfriend and tell him the truth, both about the alcohol, and the prescription drugs. Why NOT tell him? If he truly loves you, why keep secrets? What if he found out, and asked you why you didn't tell him? He'd be hurt for one thing, but then he'd wonder what other secrets you have. It's much safer to just be honest. The world isn't that big to keep secrets like that.

It sounds like things are going your way now and you don't want to screw things up so come clean and keep them going in the right direction. Congrats on the house too! Best of luck and keep us posted on how things are going, ok? And keep posting too! Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

He and I drink together almost every time we see each other

is there a reason you all drink almost everytime you're together? i'd try get together more without the alcohol component to really know each other better(?) alcohol can confuse the personality of both, imo.

[insideout]

if he's right for you, he will not let the medication issue get in the way.

being afraid to slip doesnt mean you will slip... it means you are walking more carefully this time.

[Perna]

I would have a conversation with him now, before you get even more invested and the anxiety over his knowing "you"/your past history, lifestyle, etc. ratchets up a few more notches?

Are you supposed to drink on the meds you are now taking? If you want a relationship that lasts, I think you need to be honest with yourself and him from the first.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would have a conversation with him now, before you get even more invested and the anxiety over his knowing "you"/your past history, lifestyle, etc. ratchets up a few more notches?

Are you supposed to drink on the meds you are now taking? If you want a relationship that lasts, I think you need to be honest with yourself and him from the first.

I couldn't agree more. If you're not your true self who is he dating and falling in love with? Do you really want to expend all that energy trying to be what someone else wants?! It's not fair to you or him. And alcohol is a depressant - very messy to mix with meds and issues. Good Luck

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

[regretful]

Drinking and meds don't mix well at all. When I started Lexapro I thought I could drink along with it because I did that the first time..well, the second time my anxiety was overwhelming - now I'm on cymbalta and off of alcohol. My mental health is more important. Plus, if you are on anti-anxiety meds, the alcohol can cause a serious drop in blood pressure.

Good luck in your Ph.D. program. When I was pursuing my doctorate I found very little time to do anything other than read, write, and study.

Originally Posted by bjtds3

Right now I'm really just looking for some words of encouragement. Someone I've been friends with for a few years and I have fallen completely in love. We're spending almost every day together and it's a little scary knowing that I used to drink absurd amounts before getting on antidepressants and anxiety medication. He and I drink together almost every time we see each other, which is okay because I have been in control in front of him, but I'm afraid that I'll completely lose control of my drinking or that he'll find out how much I used to drink. I'm also scared that eventually he'll have to find out that I take prescriptions for my anxiety and panic. I just started my PhD program, just put an offer in on a house, and just fell in love. I feel like I'm in control of my life but I'm hoping for some prayers and good thoughts from this community.

[youOme]

Its a good thing that happened.. falling in love dont happen often, especially if true. If its the real deal then he will continue to love you despite your issues or flaws, and you will do the same for him. Love is work and acceptance can be apart of that job. Good luck.

[We_do_recover]

stop drinking while you're on your medication

i know you're looking for encouragement, but all the encouragement in the world is gonna do you no good if you're drinking on psych medication

the rest can be sorted out / figured out once you're sober again

[gma45]

I will keep you in my prayers, but you need to be honest with yourself and with him now or it will never work.