damn it I'm a history buff I enjoy looking back in time like way back!

to imagine the pissheads that have been before me like way back!....all the way.

and I am no different to them

no tv no car no flash pants no frozen food no credit card no internet porn no drum kit no medicine no resealable cheese no optional extras!

maybe not even a freaking wheel!

booze has been around forever do I want to be another fatality it's an optional soul cancer so I'm told, it's will!

...will do or will don't?...who gives a damn?

drink to die... die to finish up life

obviously upset about something?!

what were my ancestors pissed off about?

so be defiant in all aspects of emotional weakness?

(to be continued)

[beauflow]

what were my ancestors pissed off about?

I think for the time being... what and why are you pissed off about?

I know I don't know much of my roots, but i do know a little about my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents... just a little.

Some of the "addiction" qualities were coping skills, that us kids picked up on.. however, they were coping skills that were not to allow us all to be the full potential of our selves...

My dad used to tell me, "i will always hope that the next generation will be better than the last", he would say that when he mentioned racism -- his grandparents (to whom raised him) where quiet "old style with that"; my dad went to a college and meet a "black kid" that related more to him than any "white kids" around him... my dad grew up on a farm, did a lot of heavy work, had been told he was retarded and so on... My dad and this new friend had a lot of interests together as well, a lot of thinking interests... He there at his college age understood what it meant if he would had kept those old style ways of thinking, he would not had met such a great friend at the time..

I know many may not see My Connection here with this, and perhaps I can not fully explain it either.... but if by taking out racism and put addiction/using the bottle or getting high to cope.. and using the past examples of how they used to do it, and how a better way to do it... it can mean a lot....

"history repeats it's self, it is why we learn it", It can be quiet difficult to learn about my family history I know, I don't have full stories, but I see some of it, and the out come..

My parents had hard lives, they had their own issues, they chose to abuse alcohol to cope.. they chose a lot of things that effected us kids to have a worse in some ways childhood even if they did not mean too... If only if I myself can take that little bit, and strive to be a little better with trying to find better ways... it is at least a little change towards the better.

I have spent years trying to figure a lot out-- some times it comes down to-- let it go and work on what is in the here and now, if that makes any sense...

[bluemountains]

I don't know what my ancestors were pissed off about-maybe nothing because they were letting the good times roll thanks to the bottle!
I, on the other hand, am pissed off because the ancestors gave me the genes that cause battles in my mind. I love my kids too much to let the good times roll, but it is so tempting...and sometimes an oops!
Bluemountains