[Leed]

Days of Healing Days of Joy ...........................................................Nov. 3rd.

"Someone has said that the greatest cause of ulcers is mountain-climbing over molehillls. ........................................................Maxwell Maltz

Every problem that arises doesn't qualify as a crisis. And in spite of our tendency to overreact, every crisis that confronts us isn't necessarily a do-or-die situation. Rather than shrink in fear or attack in anger, we can take a more reasoned, measured approach by evaluating the difficult situations that come up before we respond.

How important is it? A misunderstanding between friends, for example, is not the end of the world. Whose problem is it? If one of our children gets a bad grade in school, the responsibility lies with that child, not with us. Overreaction is inappropriate in either case.

When we do face a true crisis, when an important decision has to be made, we need all our wisdom and ability to focus the strength of our program on making a good choice. We won't have the energy or perspective to do that unless we can tell the difference between molehills and mountains.
________________________
Today, I will see circumstances as they are _ without minimizing or exaggerating.

[gma45]

I am learning not to carry everyone's problems, and learning to tell the difference between what is mine and what is not! Thanks for the post Leed. I no longer have to carry the world's crap on my back, causes real back problems lol!

[cookfan56]

Originally Posted by Leed

Days of Healing Days of Joy ...........................................................Nov. 3rd.

"Someone has said that the greatest cause of ulcers is mountain-climbing over molehillls. ........................................................Maxwell Maltz

Every problem that arises doesn't qualify as a crisis. And in spite of our tendency to overreact, every crisis that confronts us isn't necessarily a do-or-die situation. Rather than shrink in fear or attack in anger, we can take a more reasoned, measured approach by evaluating the difficult situations that come up before we respond.

How important is it? A misunderstanding between friends, for example, is not the end of the world. Whose problem is it? If one of our children gets a bad grade in school, the responsibility lies with that child, not with us. Overreaction is inappropriate in either case.

When we do face a true crisis, when an important decision has to be made, we need all our wisdom and ability to focus the strength of our program on making a good choice. We won't have the energy or perspective to do that unless we can tell the difference between molehills and mountains.
________________________
Today, I will see circumstances as they are _ without minimizing or exaggerating.

Leed, another terrific post! I make the exact mistakes you pointed out. I let misunderstandings between friends bewilder me (and upset me.) I do take on my kids' problems, both of them (one in grad school, one in middle school.) The one in middle school is a total perfectionist, who also lacks time management skills, and then falls apart into a crying, screaming fit when she doesn't finish her work on time and get "A's". I feel my blood pressure rising and the need to smoke cigarettes or escape to my car when she does this (which is frequent these days.) My husband is hardly around and we have no family in the area. Some days I think I'll lose it. But I won't drink over it, I just won't.

My husband, although a workaholic in his own right, doesn't help because he also holds the rigid belief that only high academic success is the key to life. He doesn't see other ways. Art, music, culinary arts, teaching, etc. Only high academic success in lucrative fields. Well, he has that himself but my older daughter may never have it, he has instilled so much perfectionism in the younger one that sometimes I feel she's doomed. It makes me very sad. But my husband makes a very nice living which enables us not to have to suffer financially. But everything has its price.