[Leed]

Days of Healing Days of Joy......................................................Dec. 8th

"Never let yesterday use up today"..............................Richard H. Nelson

Boundaries are the issue. How often we talk about boundaries. Most often these are boundaries between us and other people. Where does my responsibility end and yours start? But there are other boundaries - mental boundaries. One of them is getting lost in yesterday.

Yesterday's fears can overrun the boundary of today like cattle through a broken fence. We can lose sight of the difference between what happened yesterday and what can happen today. We can allow yesterday's resentments to become today's facts or yesterday's expectations to become today's prophecies. Yesterday's people may become the people we deal with today. Our fathers become our husbands or male friends. Patterns between our mothers and their family systems become the expected norm for today. It is unfair to do this to those around us now.

Today is like a bright new coin. It is potential, waiting for us to decide what we shall spend it on. We have a choice, as always: yesterday's hurt or today's celebration.
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Today's possibilities need not be limited by the past. I choose to be happy and healthy for this 24 hours.

And older guy in my home group used to say: If you're living in yesterday, you're peeing on today, and tomorrow isn't here yet." And it's so true.

Plus we allow old resentments to fog up today so we don't see clearly what is right before us. And continuing the cycle of the dysfunctional family we grew up in yesterday also fogs our vision of today.

So we do have a choice of what we want today to "look" like. Do we want it shiny & clear, or do we want it dark and foggy? I choose clear!

[layla11]

Thank you for posting this. It is exactly whats happening in my life now with my family. Leed you are a true inspiration, god does work in mysterious ways.

[thickntired]

And older guy in my home group used to say: If you're living in yesterday, you're peeing on today, and tomorrow isn't here yet." And it's so true.

That is a good saying. I don't know when I'll have a bright, shiny day, but I'm happy that you're in a really good place . And you don't take it for granted.

Peace & Hugs,

TnT

[madisgram]

wow, leed, a great post. i had to work so hard on boundaries. most of mine were inbound issues especially with family. i had to learn to set boundaries with my dysfunctional family-siblings-and more recently my housemate who is 4 years in AA. i used to carry my burdens from yesterday to today. but i have improved so much. but only therapy could teach me the skill. and AA taught me the concerns re resentments and the outcome of them if i held on to them. AA also helped me to have more confidence about who i was becoming. a far healthier mind and actions. but i had no roadmap in the beginning of recovery. i was a wimp to take up for myself. i was used and abused. i gave up my rights to others. course this leads to resentments and i sure had a bunch in early recovery. i distanced myself from family to protect myself. this was one healthy boundary i set. and gosh how true that many of us by our thoughts and actions mirror our parents.
today, to the best of my ability, i look more like a bright new coin.