[Leed]

"I got fed up with rewarding my illness. It cost me too much"........Marvin H.

To reward something indicates that we value it. The payoff represents our hope that the same thing will happen again. Rewards are encouragements for repeat performances.

Unaware, we can very easily reward our own illness. We do it by simply acting out our old destructive habits and patterns - by keeping them with us, by practicing them. The more we act them out, the less aware we become.

We reward illness when we feel afraid and then let that feeling halt our action. When we allow our shame to get the upper hand by getting into unrealistic expectations, we reward illness. When our low self-esteem nudges us into relationships that can only end in heartbreak, or when we allow unacceptable behavior to go unchallenged, we are rewarding illness.

We don't need to pay the high cost of feeding the disease by repeating these self-defeating patterns. We've paid enough for defeat; it's time to invest in success.
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Today, I will throw my energy into positive redirection. Nothing I do today will cater to my illness.

The above reading is from "Days of Healing, Days of Joy" - a Hazelden book

I have certainly fed my disease at some point thru the years, whether it be shame, fear, low self-esteem or what-have-you. While I didn't have to drink over it, it surely made me struggle! The thing is, when you let it go long enough, you don't realize you're doing it! Many times it takes someone else to point it out. That's where a good sponsor comes into play. Plus taking your own inventory frequently helps too!

[Travelinglady]

Thanks again for sharing words of wisdom!