Subjugated Siempre?
Yes sir, yes ma'am'. I was raised, trained, to be subjugated to others. I am from the country that was known as Czechoslovakia. Now split into the Czech repuplic and Slovakia. I was slapped on the face an hands when I did not address anyone, and everyone, I encountered as a child as Yes Ma'am! and Yes Sir!

I was taught to oblige anyone with whom came upon me, industrially, emotionally, and sexually. I was slapped repeatedly upon the face and both hands if "Yes sir!" And "Yes Ma'am!" was not immediately uttered from my lips upon an adult's demand of me or mere presence in mine. I was taught to be a servant of all, never to escape the slave position. I am 28. I cannot relate to others. They think I am 'shitting them' by my politeness. I have endured much ridicule by the attitude I have had beaten into myself. I have PTSD. I cannot relate to other 28 year old Americans who live a life of selfishness and greed. I am constantly ridiculed by others who do not believe in God. They judge me and believe that I am weak and ignorant. I have contemplated suicide since the age of six, when I was given drugs by my biological father, in order to make a six year old girl even more productive. Other people judge me. Roadie, who is a regular here, de-friended me because she was disgusted by my existence. Gus, a Buddhist here at psych central, rejected me. I have endured many tribulations. Others punish me for their perceived imperfections of me. I cannot get over this. I am suicidal.I was not allowed to attend elementary school. No one believes me, or has been easy on me because i am not accustomed to the things they have learned in an American public school. Can I continue? I am alone. My only brother, Aaron, blew his brains out in front of me. I loved him, he was my only happiness, my twin. How do I stay here with these hypocritical, self righteous Americans? Shall I effing blow my brains out as well?

[Travelinglady]

No, dear one. Please don't. I was brought up in the Southern U.S. many years ago and I was taught to be mannerly and obedient to my elders. I wish more people would at least be polite.

I still call older people, "Ma'am" and "sir," at least in real life, under certain circumstances.

[allimsaying]

Hi lightbulb.

I just wanted to say Ive read your post and in it I find a lot of disturbing things. Not meaning that you are disturbing in any way, but what you've experienced would certainly cause problems for any of us I think. Some of the thoughts you described are familiar to me. Before I reply too much, I want to see what you feel now that you've posted and gotten some things out in the open. Is it helping? Please add more as you feel is needed, we are listening.