[bitten]

I a an addict. Plain and simple. I am in my mid 40's and have been an active addict the whole time, except for the last 6 months. Since I was 11 years old. I say I am "cross-addicted" because I am. One thing after another. Just looking to find out how others do it. I am on shaky ground, as I am getting my own place, work in a psych/detox ward so I see it every day. I at times feel like I may hit the "wall" and need to find other coping skills to divert my attention to using. A little, no a lot nervous!

[emgreen]

Hi, bitten. I can relate to your using experiences, as I've been cross-addicted & dual-diagnosis since my teen years. I'm always cautious about sobriety anniversaries for some reason...because in the past I've slipped before reaching them. I don't even keep track of my sobriety date anymore -- the main thing is to keep focusing on how much better you feel. When I was using it seemed I was always in a fog, & it kept me from recovering from my BP, in addition to missing out on the new perspectives sobriety brings.

Aside form suggesting AA/NA (which I know isn't for everyone), all I can say is I hope you know you're not in this alone. There are many of us who used either recreationally, or as a means of self-medicating. For those of us who identify as alcoholics or addicts, we have to try not to deceive ourselves & let the substances win.

Congrats on the 6 months...That's a big accomplishment.

[Leed]

Hi ~ And I hope you reach your 6 months, cause that's GREAT! I'm cross-addicted too. My "stuff" was booze & Xanax. In July, God willing I'll have 20yrs sober/clean.

I DO keep track of my sobriety dates cause to me that's important -- it gives me something to SHOOT for, and in the beginning it was especially important! When I hit 6 months, I felt that was a HUGE accomplishment for me cause I never thought I'd make it 6 hours without a drink!

Since you work in a psych/detox ward, this must be incredibly hard for you, and you need LOTS of support -- face to face support, not just online support. I hope you're going to AA or some group cause you certainly NEED it! Being on shaky ground, as you say, tells me that you're headed for a slip if you don't do something SOON. See what you think of AA -- take what you like and leave the rest. If you don't like the talk about Higher Powers, leave it, but take the rest of what they're saying WITH you. AA saved my life. I didn't like all that they said either, but like I said -- they saved my life!

I wish you the very best! Keep us posted on how you're doing will you? We DO CARE about you! God bless! Hugs, Lee

[Caliope77]

Bitten, I'm new here, but I've found this forum to be a great help. I know you will make it! Hugs to you!

[bitten]

Thanks all. I go to at least 3 AA f2f meetings a week and 2 NA meetings. But I never share. I have been so trained to just be a listener, be a helper, not a helpee so to sipeak. I have lots of support and people around, but I trust nobody. With good reason. That is what brought me to this site.

Thank you all for your input. Thanks for taking the time. MUCH appreciated...

[Leed]

Hey Bitten ~ Don't be afraid to share at meetings. You have NO idea how your experiences and feelings can help other newcomers!!! They're scared to death too, and if you share, you can help alleviate their fear! You have ALOT to share! You DON'T share stuff about work, but feelings and how you got clean/sober!

So please don't be afraid to share. I know you said you're always a "listener" but at some point you are going to have to share something. No one will throw you out if you don't, but you really should. People want to hear how you got clean/sober --- it WILL help others. God bless, hon. Hugs, Lee

[bitten]

Thank you. Is there a meeting on here?