How can an alcoholic/Addict ever really want help.

I am not an addict/alcoholic, my father is an alcoholic. So what I don't understand is how some addicts/alcoholics want help & others dont. How can someone want help when the very nature of the disease persuades them to use.

Good question

well for my father who is an alcoholic; he denies its a bad thing for the most part...
yet other times he calls it a 'brutal' drug, thats really bad; 'BUT, gets the job done...'
he may feel this way due to habituation; he's in his 60's and the dangers of drink weren't so well known then and the culture was pretty ripe then for drinking (spose it is now too)

so, i feel he doesn't want to let go of something he's cherished for so long and had good times on.
me personally, i don't really like alchohol.... i do drink, sometimes alot... but often just twice a month or less.
and thats because i've seen the really ugly side... not just the damage it does to the drinker, but the harm their behaviour whilst drunk causes to other people...

so, i don't really know to be honest... i think its a very complicated issue..
and involves alot of a persons psyche..

personally i think it takes insight,, and then willpower, and a knowledge you can be better off without it.
but that requires saying goodbye to alot of old behaviours/habits/lifestyles..
and dealing with sobriety which can be difficult when your used to being inebriated.

thats a very good question... and i'm afraid i don't really have an answer.
i'm sure others will have more insight into this than me..

well done for looking out for your Father.
BX

There is some research which suggests that the use of hallucinogens combined with therapy can quickly break addiction to alcohol. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options for combining hallucinogens with traditional therapy. On the other hand, it may be possible to participate in ritual use of Ayahuasca in Peru with the Shamans. It sounds expensive, but is it really any more costly than years of additional drinking?

For a good share of us, our will to LIVE is even stronger than our will to USE. None of us wants to die. When our using, whether it's booze or drugs, gets to the poing where our very life is endangered, we DO start screaming for help!

Some of us don't even wait that long. We see what's coming before that, so we go for help sooner. For me, I knew that after 20 years of heavy drinking that I couldn't go on much longer or my liver/kidneys would just plain stop working! Plus it was pointed out to me what a horrible mother I was -- so it was time to stop.

But as I said, my will to live came first. And I think that's true with most addicts/alcoholics. God bless! Hugs, Lee

My brother said that he would rather die drunk than live sober, and thats what happened he died the day after his 43rd Birthday

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I got help because I was completely miserable & on my way to losing my life because of it. Pretty simple.

I don't know why some addicts/alcoholics want help/recover/etc & some don't. My father is an alcoholic & while I can't predict the future, I highly doubt that he will ever get help & get sober.

Another alcoholic who had quit using cared enough about me to take me to an AA meeting, then be always available to me. His generosity and caring moved me to a point of my coming to feel that I was worth saving--my friends, my family had tried, but I didn't believe them. And it wasn't a sex thing--that's another story

So in my case, I was lucky. I think everyone's story is a little different, but will power alone is seldom the entire answer. It's a big help. My way sure won't work for everyone. Giving up, of course, never gets anyone sober. Perseverance (in my life) is often the path to "luck"--or miracles, or whatever.

There was a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family, so I'm sorry you're suffering through that agony. There's lots of support here. Talk about it, get some help coping. So many are living with it too.

May I suggest you attend Alanon? If your dad is an alcoholic, you've been affected by the disease as well. The hallmarks for those who grew up with alcoholism are control, anger, obsession, denial.. and one more. Your preoccupation with your dad is a telltale sign.