Dunno the reason why I'm addicted to sex and alcohol

The cause of my addiction to sex and alcohol is still unknown to me. I think and look back why I did those things but until now it's all unclear. One reason I can think of is that maybe because I was used by my ex-bf whom I trusted and loved. But at that time, I wasn't that in love with him (the first time we had sex and after that I've never heard of him). I tried to reconcile but he won't speak to me so I just moved on but honestly I felt used and hurt.

Another is that, growing up I was the laughing stock. My classmates in high school bullied me because I'm not pretty. I don't have suitors, never got love letters or flowers from guys. But not until college that I started dressing up and looked good. Guys are actually noticing and flirting with me. Eventually I gained confidence but I'm still very conscious and insecure.

It came to the point that I don't want to be in serious relationships. I have **** buddies, became a party girl, tried smoking weed, drank hard liquors until I blacked out. I lost control and focus in myself.

But the good thing is that right now I stopped doing it. I dont know how I did it but I'm now trying to gain control of my life again. Maybe because I have a loving family that I feel I dont even deserve to have them. They are the best.

I stopped seeing my friends and totally withdrawn myself that wont do me any good. I just wanted to live the good life that I had before.

Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself why I did those things. And sometimes I have the sudden urge of doing it again. I'm still recovering though.

Hi I'm glad your on the right path to doing what is good for you. The sex and alcohol go hand and hand because alcohol is a aphrodisiac, and lowers your ambitions. I wouldn't worry about why you did it and feel bad about it. Just focus on where you want to be and how much progress you have made. Don't go back. Good job!

Recovery can be a slow process but you're on the right track. As for why you're addicted...there are no hard and fast answers. Addiction claims victims from all walks of life. The important thing is that you're doing something about it. It's hard to ever really know why.