Getting help to stop alcool

Hello,

My husband is an alcoolic. He seems he wants to change but it is complicated - like for every alcoolic i guess -. Each time he talks about his problems ( other than alcool ), I try to listen to him and have empathy, and try to make him feel that he has my support.

But after more than a week of heavy drinking and lies, yersteday I talked to him. I explained that I love him, but if he loves me too and have a little bit of pity, and if he thinks he don't want or cannot stop drinking, so he should just let me free.

"Of course", this morning I wake up, and find him lying on the coach with half of a bottle of vodka.

Past the classic lies ( "it was here but I did not touch it" ), and him accusing me ( "I drank because of what you told me yersteday"), I told him I was done and I would buy him a one way flight ticket to his home country - we have different citizenship-. I want to protect my mental health, and in addition, I want to protect our kid soon to be because I am pregnant.

He cried a lot. He looks desesperate, and as usual, I start to want to give him another chance.

The thing is I don't know where to "send" him to get help, if he is still want to get help when He will be sober:
- He went to psychiatric hospital some months ago, He tried to kill himself after mixing alcool and depression meds.
- He sees a psychiatrist once a month, but communication is hard, not speaking the local language.
- I try to convince him to go see a therapist, but he has bad experience with some of them in the past. I am not sure if it is an excuse. He says he does not want to talk about his past. I know there is some comportemental therapists.
- I will try to make him go to see an addictology doctor. I don't know how things will be.
- AA is not an option. He is not religious ( at all ), and in addition, I think he cannot stand seeing other addicted people as a mirror to himself.

He acts like he is afraid of other people "changing" him. But how can he cure if he does not get help?

Do you have any ideas?

Thanks a lot,
NoMoreGeek

Hiya

Sadly, there is nothing you can do until he 'want's help. My hubby was an alcoholic for 8 years being with me until he quit. I went through hell and left him on several occasions. It took him attacking me and his friend and me leaving him to realise he had to stop. He was verbally abusive while drunk and I don't know why I stayed with him but anyway, he quit and has been sober for around 6 years now. Had a few blips along the way but now he is sober.

I am sorry I don't have anything really helpful to say other than you can't help him until he wants help.