[Floralies]

Hi. I started the thread "One is too many, three is not enough. HELP".
Now I am starting a new one.
Once again I'm going to try to quit. My husband drinks socially but can stop. My son never liked me drinking. My son will have a couple of beers now and again. Sigh.Why can't I do that? A friend is taking me to an AA meeting next week. He goes regularly.
I don't believe in a God or a higher power, but I have to find something that helps me. Second of all I am afraid to go to the meeting because of embarrassment. Then, how do I say to my friends that I don't drink anymore, when they ask me out? I don't want to drink. I want to have a sober life. I feel like I am going to be bored out of my mind. After work every day I stop for a few glasses of wine. Please help.

[emgreen]

First off, believing in a higher power isn't "required." For me, the group itself is my higher power. I don't know how AA works, but it does...Just sitting around the tables makes me realize I'm not alone with my alcoholism. Once you realize you're not alone with the problem your embarrassment will cease. There's no harm in trying AA to see if it works for you.

As for telling your friends, there's no need to feel embarrassed about turning down a drink. Telling them that you don't drink is a sufficient answer...At least that's been my experience. Good luck in your journey. You're not alone.

[Floralies]

Thank you. It's a whole week away so by then I hope some of the nervousness will subside.I am reading a lot now to help me prepare.

I agree with emgreen and will add that for many with drinking issues, they are afraid that by saying they don't drink, its the same as saying they are judging adversely those who do. It's not true. Your friends will not think this is the case, if you simply state you don't drink. And they'll only think you've become judgmental, if you do.

[unaluna]

I just tell people, "I'm on medication so it's like I'm high all the time." Everybody laughs and we move on. Good luck!

[Floralies]

Thank you. You see in my little head I am thinking if I say "I don't drink"....all of a sudden....they will think I have a drinking problem etc...and that's not what I want to say...(I don't want to admit I do)...so my insecurity says they will judge me all of a sudden because I have suddenly quit. I seem to be always so worried on people's perceptions are of me.

[Floralies]

Originally Posted by hankster

I just tell people, "I'm on medication so it's like I'm high all the time." Everybody laughs and we move on. Good luck!

That works!
Actually I am (on bipolar meds) but no one knows that...

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Floralies

That works!
Actually I am (on bipolar meds) but no one knows that...

You shouldn't drink with a lot of different meds, so it could be anything - dental work, cuchi stuff, cholesterol - they dont know!

Originally Posted by Floralies

Thank you. You see in my little head I am thinking if I say "I don't drink"....all of a sudden....they will think I have a drinking problem etc...and that's not what I want to say...(I don't want to admit I do)...so my insecurity says they will judge me all of a sudden because I have suddenly quit. I seem to be always so worried on people's perceptions are of me.

If they are your friends, then they probably already know there are issues with you and drinking. By saying you don't drink or you don't drink anymore, more than likely they will be supportive and not question the reasons why. They'll just be happy for you that you've chosen to help yourself.

Try not to worry. I think you're fantastic!

[Floralies]

Originally Posted by KathyOlivia

If they are your friends, then they probably already know there are issues with you and drinking. By saying you don't drink or you don't drink anymore, more than likely they will be supportive and not question the reasons why. They'll just be happy for you that you've chosen to help yourself.

Try not to worry. I think you're fantastic!

Thank you so much. I appreciate that very much.

[laikashuman]

Just stating that you're on new meds should cover you! Give AA a try, I'm an atheist, but you just need to believe that ultimately you're not in control of life.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

You don't have to believe in a god or a higher power.

You do have to believe in yourself.

You can do this.

It's hard, but you can!

And remember, a friend who won't support you in this isn't much of a friend ... But don't fret that you may lose a few along the way, you will find many new ones who support your decision to take their place.

[jadzea]

If you are talking about friends that are also your "drinking buddies" you are probably better off not going out with them at all. If you do not do a lot of drinking with them plan an evening that does not include alcohol and you don't have to tell them anything.

[gma45]

You will really find out who your true friends are. Don't worry what everyone else thinks, it's you that counts! And give AA a chance don't make a decision about it only going to one meeting. I wish you the best.