[facingdemons]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We live together in a small house. He is an alcoholic. He knows it, but doesn't think he needs help, and thinks he can still drink and will be able to moderate it.

He gets drunk very easily, and doesn't seem to realize it. When he's sober, he's a fantastic boyfriend, he's funny and sweet and we have a lovely life together. And then there's him when he's drunk. At first he might be more talkative, and he's definitely more sexual. Then something happens and he becomes one of the meanest people I've ever known. He starts making things up about me cheating on him. He calls me names and makes repeated obsene comments about what I should go do, or what I've done. (none of which is true). He says he wants to be single, he yells at me to leave him alone, he says he's moving away. He says anything he can think of to hurt me.

He is completely irrational.

The next day he will often act like nothing happened. Then when we talk he will say it won't happen again. But it always does.

He had gone a month with no incidents, then last night I got home and he was trashed. He went from happy, to angry, to sad and crying, to mean to being totally sweet and lovey. In the middle of the night he started blasting music through the house while I was trying to sleep. Once he went to bed, he woke up every 20 minutes or so talking nonsense, or singing or screaming.

This morning everything was fine. Then I had to go do some things and when I was done, he was drunk again. Tonight he is being so mean and awful. I don't know what to do.

I've tried many different ways to deal. I learned quickly that fighting back went nowhere. I mostly just stay quiet. I try to be extra nice. I tell him I love him and he tells me to go **** my other boyfriend.

I'm so tired. I love him, but I'm tired of feeling like this. I have a history of drug addiction, and I understand that struggle. I want to help him, I'm willing to stick it out if he will work on it.

What do I do?

I should mention that he also has a history of drug addiction. He's been to rehab multiple times (heroin,alcohol, meth). He's native American. His father was an alcoholic (died when my boyfriend was 4) and his mother is also an alcoholic.

I'm working really hard to get back partial custody of my young kids (they live with their dad because I wasn't stable, I see them 5 times a week) I'm terrified both that my kids would ever be around when he's like this and that this is going to keep me from being able to have them.

I'm so confused and scared. I just want morning to come so I can have my boyfriend back.

[emgreen]

Given your description, I think you know what you should do. I know it might be hard, but I think your physical & emotional safety (as well as that of your kids) is at stake.

[thickntired]

My husband is a "functioning alcoholic." He can also become horribly abusive. Actually, I didn't know I was being abused until talking to a T. When he drinks I'm abused verbally emotionally and sexually. Also, I'm one year sober. I wouldn't bring any kids into this crap. We're still having enough trouble with just the marriage and finances. You can go to Alanon to learn how to empower yourself and stop enabling, but that won't remove the chaos or bring stability to your home.

Tnt

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