Obnoxious pseudo-relapses

Hello all,

I am a diagnosed schizoaffective alcoholic who participates in AA.


When I FIRST GOT SOBER, my appreciation for music increased ten fold. Artists like The Oscar Peterson Trio, Count Basie, and The Beach Boys would do my brains in. I would begin to visualize the notes as mountains (high notes) and valleys (low notes). I understood this music like I never had before.

When I first started taking medication, I felt as if this was being dampened. Ergo, I would frequently mess with my dose to try to regain such a creative, imaginative state.

I would take my medication begrudgingly.

I had it told to me that this was a sort of relapse. I wasn't trying to get high, I was trying to achieve something that was entitled to me.

Anyone do anything simmilar?

Thanks

I had that clarity one day and I wondered if that was how all the so called normal people felt everyday? I don't know what was the cause of it but it hasn't happened in a long time since that one day. I had just gotten clean and sober. It would be nice to feel that way again but it is not worth experimenting with my body any longer to try and achieve that state again. So I will just stay clean and sober and maybe with the right amount of sleep, fresh air and good diet it may happen again sometime. Fingers crossed!

Well, if we can't have jazz, what's the point of being sober?