[Raynaadi]

Hey to my fellow 12-steppers:

I've been working with a sponsee for 3 weeks now and she's now working on her 4th step. We're meeting this Saturday for me to hear her 5th. Just thought I'd throw the topic out here....any pointers? Any experiences or ideas you'd like to share would be great. This is the first time anyone has stuck around long enough for me to work a 4th and 5th with them and I'm excited! She's very excited too, to get the relief I told her I expereinced when doing mine. She has a week to write it out. My sponsor gave me a week so that's what I did so she can't balk on this. Anyway....what has been your experience working 4 and 5 with a newcomer?

Thanks,
Rayna

[ster]

the best thing is for you to understand that sponcership is to keep you sober not anyone else. When this is given just listen for someone to get it out of there system. I do one more thing related to their fourth step is to have them list some of the positive atributes also, many when a fourth is given they only foucus on the bad things gets them feeling bad. so at the same time if I give the person i sponcered a task of writing a second one. it can be as siimple as I came to AA to get help. There are many positve things going on with a new comer. Good luck

[shadowalker164]

Like Ster said, mostly just listen.

I sometimes point out patterns in the things guys put down. “See where you got p###ed off here, and this is what you did, and this is what you got? See where you did the same thing here, and here as well?” That kind of stuff.

When I take a sponsee through their 5th, we also do their 6th and 7th the same day. Bam! Bam! Bam! At the end of the day, he is on step 8.

And here is the best part. You can’t do a step with your sponsee without doing it yourself. And after a 5th, 6th and 7th, we are both walking on thin air. It is such a powerful thing, that not only does he need to sit quietly for an hour or so, and reflect on what he has just done, so do I. It is always a moving experience for me.

You don’t want to miss it.

Your friend on this long strange trip to the good stuff,
Richard

[Raynaadi]

Thanks guys! I can't wait for this. We're doing it Saturday. I can't wait to see her get the relief!

[Raynaadi]

Thanks again for all your suggestions. We did her 5th step...took 3.5 hours. I was exausted! She was out of it haha. I talked to her the next day and could already hear the difference in her voice. We're meeting Friday to start her on 8. She's out of treatment on November 15th and it's looking like we'll be through the steps by the time she's out. It's exhilerating to be part of this with her. Wow!!!

[ster]

One thing I just want to say where it is the part hurt them or others Remember we ourselves IE ( going right our an get arrested for something you have done) Your wife or husband has ceated and they want to know who with, that is not some thing to do This step is for U not for placing the blame anywhere else.