[workingtheday]

As stated, I know I have a problem with alcohol. I abuse, if not dependent. It has gotten worse over the last 12-18 months I'd say. I will not drink for a few days, a week, and then go back to a bottle and half of wine every night for a few weeks. Then back to kicking it for a few days, and so on. I feel so much of this is out of boredom. But its a vicious cycle. I drink because I'm bored (and I may be predisposed to drinking also I admit) then stop and feel bored also. I KNOW what I need to do, but I just feel stuck, un motivated. I don't feel healthy (whether I am or not). I have anxiety issues. I had open heart surgery at 31 (39 now). I know I shouldn't be drinking in excess. I don't need to be told that. But I'm unemployed, broke, uninsured, etc. Have gotten by on savings and help from family financially. But I know I need to get back to the person I was just a few short years ago. Intelligent, funny, sociable. I just feel the opposite of all of those right now. I spend 90% of my time inside my home. I live in Southern Florida where its sunny and warm all year long. So many things to enjoy. And I'm blocking myself off from them. But again, I cant express how "stuck" I feel. Like I cant budge, I cant go job hunting, I cant converse with people. Always questioning my health, my anxiety, my stress. Just lost and trapped

[indpharexp]

please consult a psychiatrist the problem you have definitely serious and needs urgent attention.

[thickntired]

Hi,
For me when I was drinking and drugging my meds had no chance of working. I was so out of control and self-destructive. Sobriety is not perfect, but there is a saying that your worst day sober is better than your best day using. I really believe that is true. Have you thought about trying AA or Rational Recovery? I am going on 10 months sober and after many rehabs I did it with AA.

Best of luck to you,

TnT

[thickntired]

P.S. Please be very careful if you're mixing alcohol with your Xanax or Klonopin

[helper1234]

Originally Posted by workingtheday

As stated, I know I have a problem with alcohol. I abuse, if not dependent. It has gotten worse over the last 12-18 months I'd say. I will not drink for a few days, a week, and then go back to a bottle and half of wine every night for a few weeks. Then back to kicking it for a few days, and so on. I feel so much of this is out of boredom. But its a vicious cycle. I drink because I'm bored (and I may be predisposed to drinking also I admit) then stop and feel bored also. I KNOW what I need to do, but I just feel stuck, un motivated. I don't feel healthy (whether I am or not). I have anxiety issues. I had open heart surgery at 31 (39 now). I know I shouldn't be drinking in excess. I don't need to be told that. But I'm unemployed, broke, uninsured, etc. Have gotten by on savings and help from family financially. But I know I need to get back to the person I was just a few short years ago. Intelligent, funny, sociable. I just feel the opposite of all of those right now. I spend 90% of my time inside my home. I live in Southern Florida where its sunny and warm all year long. So many things to enjoy. And I'm blocking myself off from them. But again, I cant express how "stuck" I feel. Like I cant budge, I cant go job hunting, I cant converse with people. Always questioning my health, my anxiety, my stress. Just lost and trapped

You have the answers to your problems within the text of your post. It is simply to make choices and make yourself follow through. First, make a list of things you want to do, activities, people you want to see, and etc. Then write down the barriers to doing those things. Brainstorm solutions to the barriers, and then just do it. Make yourself do it, keep the conversation going with yourself, telling yourself that you can do it, and don't allow negativity to stop you. Each day look at the results and determine to do it better the next day. The motivation will come, and the boredom will cease, the joy will return. Afterall, 98 of % of life is just showing up! God bless you friend!