[11Iseethefuture11]

Starting about a month ago I have used alcohol to try to cope with the great challenges in my life, including another 3 years of surgeries and pain, and being stuck where I live, and being far away from the best friends I have ever made. I've been drinking more frequently. Everyday. Not always to get drunk, but most days AND nights to get drunk. I used to only get drunk til it was night time and my parents are asleep. I'm 21, and stuck in my parents house for another 3 years because of surgeries. They are Mormon and are completely against alcohol. They believe it is a sin. My uncle on my father's side is an alcoholic, and my mother's father was killed when she was 12 by a drunk driver, driving on the wrong side of the road, when my he was heading home early in the morning from the copper mine. My mother felt like she had to visit him, and so she did, and about 12 hours later, her father died.

My mother is dying because my father can't afford her insulin for her diabetes, and her thyroid problems that came after my younger brother's birth. On top of that I have to have two major, and painful surgeries which I will have to be in the hospital for three weeks each and see the doctor to check up on me every other day for a few months. I'm going to be in so much pain.

I just can't handle it. I drink to be numb. I fear I won't be able to continue to work, and be able to purchase alcohol to numb myself. My parents are in a very hard position financially this coming year. Unless I can pay for my own phone bill every month and possibly more, we won't make it out well.

I need to be able to work but I need to have these surgeries so people will see me as a normal person so I can move up in this life. I have so many dreams, getting my doctorates, and owning my own company and making hundreds of thousands of dollars, perhaps more. It kills me to know that I will not be able to save my mother.

Please, help me. I don't know what else to do.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

I'm so sorry that I can't help you. But I will be praying for you. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. But STAY STRONG! Just push through and hope for the best. Hugs to you and your family.

[Crourt]

I am very sad about your story you know just don't lose hope and be determine that you will solve that problem.