[wisewoman]

I have been getting o many eye openers lately about the prevalence of opiate abuse and addiction right here in my small corner of the universe. My friend's son was using 160 mgs of oxi a day! What I am astonished about is finding out who is using and how, yuck, and how they get their drugs.

I know a mother, grandmother who appears to be getting perscrptions online of vicodin and selling them. She had 120 tabs one day and zero the next, $1200 street value.

I am angry because that is why I have not gotten the pain relief I have needed in emergency situations. I am surprised because it's way out there. Some are injecting.

I am sad because my needs are real and I have a plan with spine doc now so should be okay. But, worry worry. Need and addiction are two different things. Just amazed how many grown ups are into this stuff . Just needing to share. Thanks

[Raynaadi]

Unfortunatly, for addicts, the addiction is exactly the same as the need....where you need it to help with pain, they need it to help their disease. I know it's hard to see it that way, but addicts are sick, just like anyone with a physical or mental illness like arthritis or depression. I just pray that one day they find help.

(((((((wisewoman)))))) Instant slaps in the face like this are hard, especially when we realize we're being denied things we need because others take advantage of the system. Unfortunatly, our hands are pretty much tied. The only thing we can change is our view towards the situation.

[anniego]

My sister died September 7th of a drug overdose. She was
self-injecting oxi. Some quack doctor in Houston was prescribing it and many other pain killers and anxiety meds.
She would have found another drug of doctor if he didn't but
I'm still angry with him. You're right, it is everywhere and addicts can always get it while people like you have to jump through hoops and are made to feel like drug fiends
to get them!
This too shall pass.
Annie

[wisewoman]

annie, I am so sorry for your sister's death to this issue. It reminds me of the Heroin of the 60's 70's, same stuff really. Well I don't know if you follow other forums but I have had a very complicated experience lately posted in PTSD and in Chronic pain. I will just this once admit that I bet it is difficult to be a doc. Peace to you.

[anniego]

Dear Wisewoman,
Thanks for your reply. I came to this site searching for something to help me deal with Susan's life and death.
She was an extreme BPD sufferer who was cruel and abusive to all of us who loved her. I'm still so hurt over how she treated me that I'm unable to process her death yet. it's hard to remember the sweet little sister whose hand I held until she fell asleep when she was small. She's left an 18 yr. old daughter who had never been to a funeral much less had to see her Mother's dead body. Because Susan hated us all, she tried to make her daughter feel the same so she is struggling with how to relate to all of us who just want to love her. So sad. It has helped me to read postings from other BPD sufferers who are trying so
hard to be aware of their disease behaviors that are hurtful
so that they can prevent hurting others. I don't know why but it makes me feel better. i'm so proud of and for them.
They don't realize how I wish Susan would have done that
for her family. She hurt my parents terribly. They never quit
trying to help her and she just trashed them relentlessly.
I just don't understand intentional cruelty. Her meanness
haunts me. Thanks for listening.
Annie

[Outbackjack]

Hi anniego thats tough sorry Im on methadone and know how stupid these docs hand out benzo's and oxys or methadone together OJ

[shadowalker164]

Annie…
I normally don’t reply on exclusively dope threads, but your post touched me.

The reason mental illness has such a stigma is because it profoundly affects who we are at our core. Nothing is more us than our personality, our conscious contact with each other. And diseases of the mind steal that from us.

If your sister had her eyes stolen from her, she would still be her. If her legs were stolen she would still be your little sister. But when her personality was stolen, someone else filled that void. Maybe someone not so nice.

Just try to remember she slipped into the shadows long ago, and that someone else, pretending to be her was all that was left behind.

Also, you might want to think that her daughter, now free of that someone else, is in your life now to offer a way for you to reconnect with the old Susan using herself as the conduit.

Just a thought,
Richard