AA and other methods for staying clean

I got clean and sober through AA. I have been clean and sober 19 years. I chose to adopt its philosophy as it is written in simple terms because it made sense to me. I didn't agree with all of it and would argue and debate it all the time. "Take what you like and leave the rest." Some people say you have to adopt the whole "program" as it is written, but in reality that is not how it works for most. People adopt and integrate as part of their belief system what works for them. If they relapse they may want to think again. I can go one and on about AA philosophy and my experience.

I am more interested in what other methods and philosophies people have used and had success with. I have never been one who believes AA is the only way. One shoe does not fit all. I meet more and more people IRL and online who are turned off by AA and are looking for another method. I have a very close friend who is in that position. She isn't ready to give up drinking but knows she is a hard core alcoholic. Her current strategy is to try moderation and she is minimizing the consequences of her past drinking and rationalizing thing to make it ok to continue to drink in my view. I don't at all think moderation will work for her but she has to try as part of her process. She doesn't like AA because of the "religious" overtones. Really they are spiritual and everyone is free to adopt their own belief but it is a spiritual program, no doubt. People struggle with the concept of powerlessness. I think it is misconceived and I could go on and on. I am starting this thread because of her because I think she will want to commit to sobriety at one point but it may not be AA.

So what other methods have worked for people and can you share the philosophy and your experience? I don't mind debating the different philosophies and whether one approach is wise or not, but we should not disparage other peoples choices and what may or may not have worked for them.

Good questions...I've seen AA work for people, too. Rational recovery literature is good too. I have a nephew that was not at all interested in AA, but when he read the rational recovery books, he became a bit more committed to sobriety...

Earlier this year, I stopped drinking; I attended one AA meeting, deciding it wasn't for me...

I hope that your friend finds some peace and comfort...and sobriety.

I hope she does too. Her frustration was that although there are some other methods online and support groups there is nothing in real life locally and she lives in a very populated area. That is a shame. Its like AA is still "the last house on the block" as it is said in AA.

She might want to consider Women for Sobriety. You can google them. Their program revolves around 13 statements which are designed to help women build self esteem, confidence, and better lives in sobriety.

Unfortunately there aren't as many IRL meetings of WFS as their are AA. I'm lucky, there's one in my city, but there a very active on-line forum, that hosts several meetings each day.

I find it to be quite a good program.

splitimage

I have friends who have done very well in Women for Sobriety and Rational Recovery. I also have atheist and agnostic friends who have done well in AA. They use "the universe" or "physical laws" as their higher powers. One guy even uses "Jung's Archetypes" as his higher power, saying it's too complicated to explain, but it makes sense to him. Several of these folks have had very bad experiences with organized religion. They approached AA with a combination of trepidation, resistance and defiance because of AA's spiritual approach.

They seemed to do well because they had wise mentors and sponsors in the Program who told them to look at the Promises and Traditions as well as the Steps, specifically the part about the importance of Program over Personality.

It's not unusual to find a few members who act more spiritual than thou, who take to preaching about their particular version of God instead of talking about the overall program. By remembering that the whole program is more important than the actions of a few annoying members, my non-believing friends were able to get beyond their resistance, get sober and stay sober, while enjoying the fellowship AA offers.

Most of them got stuck a Steps 6 and 7, but a lot of believers get stuck there, too, waiting for God to perform some kind of miracle. But they found ways to not make the words too literal or concrete and moved on to the other steps after letting go of resistance with the help of accepting sponsors.

They experienced a level of spirituality (which was maybe the dropping away of ego and losing resentment at religion) while maintaining their atheism and tolerating fellow members who maybe got carried away with their own ideas about God. And they're still sober.

In my experience, it is possible for non-believers to benefit and enjoy AA. They may have to search around to find a compatible meeting. But that may be true for the majority of people