[stacyrn07]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 wonderful years. We have lived together for the past year. I found out about 10 months ago that he had an addiction to oxycodone in the past. He quit on his own prior to us starting to date. He relapsed once late last year and was again able to quit on his own. I recently found out that he has been using again since February. He is seeking help for recovery at this time. He has stolen a large amount of money from me for his habit, not to mention spending quite a bit of his own. He stopped using on 6/7 for about 1 week, went through withdrawals, but was only able to be sober for a little over a week. I found out yesterday that he has been using again this past week. He says he wants help. He has an appt at a counseling center but they were not able to get him an appt til 7/21 due to his insurance.

I have such mixed feelings and am hoping to hear from others who are going through something similar. I don't want to kick him out, as I fear this will only make things worse - increased depression which leads to increased using. His family is very supportive. My family does not know anything and I intend on keeping it that way. I am so angry with everything, I feel like I am being dragged down. His stealing money from me is affecting me greatly. I no longer can trust the person I share my home with.

Any comments/support will be greatly appreciated.

[kaliope]

it would probably be helpful for you to seek out an alanon meeting for support and help in understanding addiction. there will always be that worry that he is going to go back out, that he will steal from you again. it is such a violation. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Altered Moment]

I would highly suggest Alanon or Naranon for yourself. You have to take care of you first.

From what you say it sounds like your boy friend needs professional help and treatment. I am glad if he wants to go willingly for himself. That is a huge first step.

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[Perna]

Originally Posted by stacyrn07

I am so angry with everything, I feel like I am being dragged down. His stealing money from me is affecting me greatly. I no longer can trust the person I share my home with.

Listen to yourself and what you need. You have no responsibility to carry your boyfriend, especially after he has repeatedly shown he is not trustworthy at this time. If he becomes depressed because you kick him out/leave him, maybe next time he will think harder before relapsing with someone else. No one has a gun to his head forcing him to steal money/give in to his addiction. We all have difficult problems but it does not look like he is facing his. He does not have enough personal integrity to be your partner right now. I would kick him out/leave.

[Yoda]

I had a partner with addictions. I tried to understand but I couldn't.

I found this article helpful. Why Drug Addicts Will Always Choose Drugs Over Love | Addiction Recovery