Realising who I am in part

I had psych evauation on the14th @ 9 a.m. I was so nervous that I took a couple of shots then took one of my husbands pain releivers. I am on effexor and didn't eat anything so that pretty much did it. My husband had to fill out the papers for me and show me where to sign. The doctor seen that from t he office I guess. He upped my effexor and put me on klonopin but said t hat he couldn't diagnose me because I had been drinking. He gave me a list of stuff he wants me to do before I go back on the 30th. I keep thinking ok, I can drink today, tomorrow, so on and so on until the week before then I will switch to that non alcohol beer. I DO HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM! I have been denying it forever and truly believed it. ughhhh

I was in denial about my drinking problem for a long time as well. I always lied to my doctors about how much I drank. Something "clicked" in my head nearly two years ago, and I sobered up. I understand your pain....the first time I said I was an alcoholic, I cried. I'm here for you.

It is good you are realizing this as an issue. My sobriety has been such a wonderful thing in my life. Today I truly feel like I never want to drink--I don't want to be an active drunk or drug addict. I am not going to lie--the first part of getting sober is rough--harder than heck--but it is so worth it. Things get so much better. For me, "non alcoholic" beer or "near beer" was not an option. It made me hang onto old patterns. I found out not drinking was just the tip of the iceberg--my whole life began to change the longer I stayed sober. I highly suggest soda or juice or vitamin water or anything but "near beer." I have also found antabuse to be an important part of staying sober. i have been taking it for over a year. It prevents me from impulsively drinking. If I want to "safely" drink I have to go a couple weeks to let it get entirely out of my system. That gives me enough time to think about what I am doing and to get ahold of my support network. Good for you for taking the first step and realizing you have a problem. I hope you can work through this because sobriety is wonderful and worth all the work. IM me anytime. Good luck.

Oh yeah, I had the same issues with near beer. I tried it, but just reverted to hold routines with it. It would have led me drinking. In early recovery for me, I needed chocolate soy milk. I don't know why....but having that in my fridge helped. I also drank a lot of water and caffeine free sodas.

I always knew what drinking does to people. All my brothers and mother and father are alcoholics, so I knew the signs. I had always said I wouldn't turn out like them. It just got away from me. Thanks for the posts, I'm not very happy with myself right now.

Please try to be somewhat happy with yourself. Realizing this is happening is a huge step towards getting better. You have made a big accomplishment by coming here and posting--by seeing it as a problem. You are on the right track.

I totally agree.