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#1
Mar 20, 2007, 07:42 AM
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I did something really stupid last week, I went out and gto drunk 0 even though I'm on antibuse and it turned into a 4 day binge that was pretty serious. i've never been so embarased about calling and telling my dr. and my witthdrals are really bad - they're loading me up on valium just to control the seizure risk. I feel like a complete dolt.
--splitimage
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 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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#2
Mar 20, 2007, 10:53 AM
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This is a good thing!
If it removes from you any doubt about who and what you are. Split, make this a good thing. Get back on the recovery wagon, that old life holds nothing for you anymore. Only heartache and misery. It takes a lot to come back here and own your stuff like you did. You have an enormous amount of courage, put that strength to good use. You know what to do. Sponsor and steps Richard |
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#3
Mar 20, 2007, 11:27 AM
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Good for you about being honest about this Splitimage!!!!! And remember that you can add this to your experience, strength and hope to give to others. Sometimes we need to hit another bottom to fully understand the seriousness of this. Be grateful you lived through it to share with us. Jump back on and grab on tight!!!!!
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#4
Mar 20, 2007, 07:42 PM
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Welcome back. Sorry you are going thru the withdrawal.
I have to ask--you don't have to answer. I also take antibuse. Did it make you sick? I'd be way to scared to drink without waiting a couple weeks for it to get out of my system. Hang in there!
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You don't have to fly straight...  ...just keep it between the lines!
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#5
Mar 21, 2007, 01:33 PM
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Hello Splitimage.
I agree with Rayna above that you will have future opportunities to share with others from your situation. Please take care of yourself and take things one day at a time. Try to learn from this and move on with your life. Soidhonia
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The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill of Things Unknown and Longed for Still and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom |
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#6
Mar 24, 2007, 04:34 AM
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So? Start over. New day. New start. Right?
Altered State (Think I gotta take my own advice tonight...)
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"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
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#7
Mar 24, 2007, 05:09 AM
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Ooops! My computer froze up; didn't think the message went throught - didn't have time to edit to make it sound more positive... Oh, what the hell...just start over...
And don't forget the hang-overs! They are MY best reminders - not just for the physical pain, but for every other idiot thing I did that I don't even remember doing... But then again, how do you stop the pain?? Altered State
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"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be." Hamlet, Act 4, sc v Wm. Shakespeare |
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#8
Mar 24, 2007, 10:44 AM
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(((((Split)))))
We are all human, we all make mistakes. Overcoming one's addiction is so freakin hard. I applaud you for working on it and for realizing your mistakes. But don't beat yourself up over a mistake. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, learn from it and move on. That is part of learning, living, dealing. I'm sure you know all that.... Sending healing thoughts and strength your way! Hugsssss J |
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#9
Mar 24, 2007, 08:28 PM
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Thanks everyone - i'm trying to treat this as a learning experience. I'm now through the worst of the detox (and hope to never see that particular detox center again) but I'm still tapering off the valium so my brain is kind of fuzzy.
I had a really hard session in my treeatment centre this week - if you relapse you have to process through it with a psychologist in front of a group and it was really hard to admit that part of the reason (ok a major part)) of the reason that I drink is that I don't like myself & I just need to numb out those feelings. I think I also really need to do a step 4 because I realized how many old resentments I'm still carrying around. Oh and I wouldn't recommend drinking while on Antabuse. I got really flushed, mmy heart started racing and I threw up a couple of times. I didn't get sick enough to make me stop drinking which just proves how insane the disease is, so we've doubled my dose of the antabuse as a hopefully more potent deterent in the future. For now, I'm just grateful that they're letting me continue on in the treatment centre - they don't always if you relapse so I'm feeling really lucky that I'll have that continued support as well as AA. My sponsor has also been really supportive through this whole thing, ---splitimage
__________________
"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba
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#10
Mar 25, 2007, 12:59 AM
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Sounds like you're diving right back in! Yay! How many days is it now? Just remember to do 1-3 before tackling 4. You're on the right track, keep it up!
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