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Old Mar 20, 2007, 07:42 AM
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splitimage splitimage is offline
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I did something really stupid last week, I went out and gto drunk 0 even though I'm on antibuse and it turned into a 4 day binge that was pretty serious. i've never been so embarased about calling and telling my dr. and my witthdrals are really bad - they're loading me up on valium just to control the seizure risk. I feel like a complete dolt.

--splitimage
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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Srewing up so it's bafk to day 1

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  #2  
Old Mar 20, 2007, 10:53 AM
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shadowalker164 shadowalker164 is offline
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This is a good thing!

If it removes from you any doubt about who and what you are.
Split, make this a good thing. Get back on the recovery wagon, that old life holds nothing for you anymore. Only heartache and misery.

It takes a lot to come back here and own your stuff like you did. You have an enormous amount of courage, put that strength to good use. You know what to do.

Sponsor and steps

Richard
  #3  
Old Mar 20, 2007, 11:27 AM
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Raynaadi Raynaadi is offline
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Good for you about being honest about this Splitimage!!!!! And remember that you can add this to your experience, strength and hope to give to others. Sometimes we need to hit another bottom to fully understand the seriousness of this. Be grateful you lived through it to share with us. Jump back on and grab on tight!!!!!
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  #4  
Old Mar 20, 2007, 07:42 PM
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DePressMe DePressMe is offline
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Welcome back. Sorry you are going thru the withdrawal.

I have to ask--you don't have to answer. I also take antibuse. Did it make you sick? I'd be way to scared to drink without waiting a couple weeks for it to get out of my system.

Hang in there!
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...just keep it between the lines!
  #5  
Old Mar 21, 2007, 01:33 PM
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Soidhonia Soidhonia is offline
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Hello Splitimage.
I agree with Rayna above that you will have future opportunities to share with others from your situation. Please take care of yourself and take things one day at a time. Try to learn from this and move on with your life. Soidhonia
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The Caged Bird Sings with a Fearful Trill
of Things Unknown and Longed for Still

and his Tune is Heard on the Distant Hill
for the Caged Bird Sings of Freedom
  #6  
Old Mar 24, 2007, 04:34 AM
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AlteredState01 AlteredState01 is offline
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So? Start over. New day. New start. Right?

Altered State

(Think I gotta take my own advice tonight...)
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"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be."

Hamlet, Act 4, sc v
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  #7  
Old Mar 24, 2007, 05:09 AM
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AlteredState01 AlteredState01 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2006
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Ooops! My computer froze up; didn't think the message went throught - didn't have time to edit to make it sound more positive... Oh, what the hell...just start over...

And don't forget the hang-overs! They are MY best reminders - not just for the physical pain, but for every other idiot thing I did that I don't even remember doing...

But then again, how do you stop the pain??

Altered State
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"Lord, we know what we are, yet know not what we may be."

Hamlet, Act 4, sc v
Wm. Shakespeare
  #8  
Old Mar 24, 2007, 10:44 AM
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sabby sabby is offline
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(((((Split)))))

We are all human, we all make mistakes. Overcoming one's addiction is so freakin hard. I applaud you for working on it and for realizing your mistakes. But don't beat yourself up over a mistake. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, learn from it and move on. That is part of learning, living, dealing. I'm sure you know all that....

Sending healing thoughts and strength your way!

Hugsssss
J
  #9  
Old Mar 24, 2007, 08:28 PM
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splitimage splitimage is offline
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Thanks everyone - i'm trying to treat this as a learning experience. I'm now through the worst of the detox (and hope to never see that particular detox center again) but I'm still tapering off the valium so my brain is kind of fuzzy.

I had a really hard session in my treeatment centre this week - if you relapse you have to process through it with a psychologist in front of a group and it was really hard to admit that part of the reason (ok a major part)) of the reason that I drink is that I don't like myself & I just need to numb out those feelings. I think I also really need to do a step 4 because I realized how many old resentments I'm still carrying around.

Oh and I wouldn't recommend drinking while on Antabuse. I got really flushed, mmy heart started racing and I threw up a couple of times. I didn't get sick enough to make me stop drinking which just proves how insane the disease is, so we've doubled my dose of the antabuse as a hopefully more potent deterent in the future.

For now, I'm just grateful that they're letting me continue on in the treatment centre - they don't always if you relapse so I'm feeling really lucky that I'll have that continued support as well as AA.

My sponsor has also been really supportive through this whole thing,

---splitimage
__________________


"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

Srewing up so it's bafk to day 1
  #10  
Old Mar 25, 2007, 12:59 AM
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Raynaadi Raynaadi is offline
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Sounds like you're diving right back in! Yay! How many days is it now? Just remember to do 1-3 before tackling 4. You're on the right track, keep it up!
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