[FallingTears]

So, I'm "not supposed to drink" while on Alprazolam BUT sometimes, like now, I REALLY think a drink would feel better than a pill.

If I take the pill, I probably won't drink because I'll be too scared, and I'll be awake most of the night because the pill will wear off by midnight, BUT it could help me stay off alcohol.

If the pill is not enough I'll be jittery all night... And I might drink anyway which isn't the deal I made when I was given pills ..

So, the RIGHT answer is "be a good patient" but I REALLY REALLY don't want to be!!!!

I seem to be failing at not drinking.... I know it's pathetic but I don't seem to care enough to stop! Why??

FT

[sideblinded]

I am sorry that you are having this problem. I know that you are frustrated. It does come down to one question. Do you want to get healthy and stop abusing alcohol? No one can make you stop except you. It IS about whether you want to stop. No one has control over you but you. Do you want to be in control or do you want the alcohol to have control over you?

These are your questions. Why do you not want to stop? Only you knows the answer to why.

[Mygrandjourney]

Xanax is not necessarily a first line treatment for alcohol dependence. It might provide some temporary relief from withdrawals and rebound anxiety, but only on a limited basis.
There are other options that won't have so much of an impact on your nervous system. Meds for craving management and sleep are commonly used but PCPs don't always think of them. Are you working with a qualified psychiatrist with experience treating addiction?

[FallingTears]

Thankyou sideblinded and mygrandjourney

The guy I'm seeing got me off daily dope smoking and frequent binge drinking about 15 years ago. I saw him for YEARS!

In 2014 I went back to him because I discovered my husband is a major liar and I wasn't coping. The xanax is supposed to stop me freaking out EVERYTIME I discover a new lie/mess.

When it was prescribed the drinking was only occasional but I was worried I was starting to run to the bottle. Yesterday I started panicking about a new discovery and bingo - I got blind....

After a long, overheated, boring, sleepless night of alcohol induced discomfort, of course, I have "decided not to drink again".

But it's rarely so simple....

Maybe new drugs are in my future....

Big sigh..........

Thanks for yr replies....

[mjv1208]

Originally Posted by FallingTears

So, I'm "not supposed to drink" while on Alprazolam BUT sometimes, like now, I REALLY think a drink would feel better than a pill.

If I take the pill, I probably won't drink because I'll be too scared, and I'll be awake most of the night because the pill will wear off by midnight, BUT it could help me stay off alcohol.

If the pill is not enough I'll be jittery all night... And I might drink anyway which isn't the deal I made when I was given pills ..

So, the RIGHT answer is "be a good patient" but I REALLY REALLY don't want to be!!!!

I seem to be failing at not drinking.... I know it's pathetic but I don't seem to care enough to stop! Why??

FT

My experience and I learned the hard way over years...I have severe ocd which is an anxiety disorder and I'm an alcoholic. I was prescribed xanax, klonopin, and ativan seperately over the years. Long story short, finally after years of on and off sobriety a psychiatrist told me that all 3 drugs being benzos work on the same part of the brain as alcohol and could trigger me to relapse with alcohol. Plus all benzos are intended for short term use of about 2 weeks not long term use. In a rehab, a doctor took me off the benzos and put me on buspar for anxiety which is non-addictive but takes about 2 weeks to be effective. It was uncomfortable for a couple of weeks but one of the best decisions for me. I still take buspar and it does not have the immediate relief of taking a benzo but overall my anxiety is better and manageable. It forced me to learn coping skills for my anxiety rather than popping pills and I learned to sometimes tolerate anxiety. I truly believe being on benzos will make it really difficult for you to quit drinking. I even had a pyschiatrist give me benzos with the understandable explanation that he would rather me take the benzos than go out and binge drink for my safety. Good luck and I would think eventually you need to decide whether to get away from your lying partner rather than self-medicate due to his lying. Ultimately that is the underlying problem that needs to be addressed and a decision made. Good luck

[FallingTears]

Thanks mjv208

Alprazolam did lose it's appeal. I am now on a new drug that generally makes me much better able to cope without alcohol BUT in a crisis it doesn't offer numbness. And then the
Suicidal depression kicks in!

I have no reserves for coping with anything that hurts at the moment. If I could be stoned all day and function I would.

The new drug plus leftover xanax has mostly been enough to stop me drinking. It's not the shrink's favorite cocktail but until the Xanax runs out, it's mine...

Wish I didn't need to be a rattling medical cupboard but not in a financial position to separate from the liar, and the kids like living with both parents!

"Woe is Me" lol

[AncientMelody]

Have you considered therapy? A support group?

[Mygrandjourney]

Yes on therapy or a support program. The meds (and alcohol) will not address the underlying issues you are using them to avoid/cope with. At some point, the self medicating becomes a problem in it's own right and then you become the identified patient rather than your lying spouse. Best wishes.