[alk2601]

I went to my first NA meeting last night. It was a decent experience, but I keep having mixed feelings about whether NA is right for me and whether I "fit in".

I have virtually no support right now. There are a few people in other states that text me every now and then; other than that I'm completely alone. I'm trying NA because I just need to be around people period, especially people who understand what I'm going through. And it was refreshing to be around people who are honest about their struggles and weaknesses.

But I find myself isolating and segregating myself from them in my mind, because I feel like I'm almost not bad enough to be there. From what I heard in the meeting last night, most of them used harder drugs for longer and with much more severe consequences than me. I guess I feel like I'm weak and stupid for not being able to quit on my own, when I bet most of them would have been able to kick it if they were in my shoes. Also, I've always been a closet drug and alcohol user. I'm not the partying type, and most people don't even know that I drink, let alone that I'm an addict. So that makes my addiction different also. I guess I feel that I would be judged in NA if people knew the details about my drug problem, simply because it's not that bad in comparison.

Maybe that's just my social anxiety (and general insecurities) talking. Maybe it's a way for me to try to rationalize my addiction. God knows it took me long enough to even admit that I have a problem. I don't know, I can't think clearly about this. I could use some objective feedback.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Hi!

I think you could benefit from going to meetings no matter how "bad" you consider yourself to have been on drugs. I also suffer from social anxiety and it's kept me from going to meetings here lately. I also need to force myself to go. You can really benefit from being around others that think like you do...

I don't know what your drug of choice is, but any time we become dependent on drugs or alcohol to feel good, to have fun, to cope, etc etc it is a problem, wether you are the only that knows that you do it or you have been arrested 20 times!

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If you are a self professed alcoholic/addict, yes you do and you fit in. It's not an elitist group, members only. Just put your butt in that chair even if you don't feel like being there, and the rest will follow.

For all new people, 90 meetings in 90 days....all in a roll.

Don't compare yourself to others because addiction is addiction no matter what color you coat it, some just took it to a whole other level that you've yet (yep- yet) to reach. Count your lucky stars that you made it in them doors before ever getting to where they're at. At least you'll get a taste of a new way of living.

Screw everybody, you are there to save your life. Like they got any right to judge, have they seen where they are sitting? Lol. Check your illness at the door please.

Sometimes some addicts and alcoholics just talk war stories instead of the solution, they are still floundering around in the sickness, but give them time to get this thing.

Where else can you breathe recovery for a dollar cup of coffee a day?

I'd just go and listen for a few meetings. Get a sponsor, someone to help guide you through the program. Eventually you'll make friends and meet people just like you.

Believe me, everyone would be glad that you made it there before you ended up dead.

It takes a little getting used too at first, but don't let that mental monster called the disease talk you out of meetings. Meetings are the best thing that I've ever done...it keeps one centered in their recovery program. I did meetings for 5 years and stayed clean till I quit going. I picked up my desire chip the other night and we're wanting to do this again.

So if you have to ask....yes, go!

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

If you are a self professed alcoholic/addict, yes you do and you fit in. It's not an elitist group, members only. Just put your butt in that chair even if you don't feel like being there, and the rest will follow.

So if you have to ask....yes, go!

🏼🏼🏼 thank you so much for saying what I couldn't seem to think of! I'm new to my sobriety and can't seem to put it all together sometimes!

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Originally Posted by DeeAnnaD1913

������ thank you so much for saying what I couldn't seem to think of! I'm new to my sobriety and can't seem to put it all together sometimes!

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Thank you, that's okay. Recovery jargon happens...you'll get it. I did celebrate recovery and also 12 step meetings. AA/NA/GA/Alanon meetings are faster paced for recovery whereas CR is slower paced but is centered over the bible and God. It's the same principles that Rick Warren repenned for Christianity.