[BaxWar1023]

I am on a lot of meds. I decided to take Ativan as a supplement for my addiction, to keep me off of other drugs and from panicking and drinking. It has helped.

I used to drink about a pint every other night, and had huge issues with opiates and OD'ing in the past, which has not occurred. But I keep finding myself abusing my ativan, taking an extra two here and there to sleep, taking four at a time just out of impulse. Plus I drank a 24oz. beer today and I don't even like to drink.

I tried going to 12 step meetings but I always relapse. Is it just not time yet in my mind to give it up or what? Hopefully as time goes on I will lose my taste for the alcohol, but the abuse of the Ativan is a big issue. I one time took 12 of them for no reason, and suffered hallucinations and withdrawals.

I am a lot more stable now but am still worried about the addiction. I just wish I had something to give me a rush or to ease the trouble in my heart.

[Altered Moment]

The only med on your list to worry about is the Ativan. I am assuming you are getting more on your own besides scripts if you are taking a lot.

Benzos are very addictive and build up tolerance fast. I know they work beautifully for anxiety because I take Klonopin. I have never taken more than prescribed. .5 mg twice a day.

If you can take only the right dose each day and never more and use no other drugs or alcohol, that is where you want to be. Trust me I know how hard that is. And the same dose ativan each day won't get you buzzed it will just keep the anxiety away.

With a history of opiates you know how dangerous the game is. You could switch to alcohol real easy probably.

I have been sober a long time but I know how much I want a little somethin somethin once in awhile like you. That is why I have ended up cheating with pot. I am not saying I recommend it. I admit I use it for an escape occasionally not a medical reason.

[BaxWar1023]

I am doing better. I have been taking the Ativan as prescribed. I hope there is no return to the alcohol, but first things first! I will have to go out and get a red bull and cranberry to cement this some time. It is terrible when you are at parties and shouldn't be drinking, but everyone else is! Appreciate the input.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Careful with the ativan. You're just substituting one substance for another. I know how easy it is to over do the benzos. I can take one dose and then the next won't even work so I double up sometime. I know all about abusing my meds! Been to hell and back with stimulants. Worst thing my pdoc could of ever wrote for me.

I used to be a terrible alcoholic. I haven't drank since May though. I was physically addicted and had to wake up at 7am just to drink to stop shaking every morning. Nothing sucks like being powerless to a substance. I'm still struggling with other things, not gonna lie.

Your first line was "I'm on a lot of meds". Are there any meds you can cut out or down on? I had a little breakdown a wk ago and was squeezed in to see any pdoc last wk. His first thing to say was "you're on a lot of unessesary meds that are counteracting each other". So I guess I'm going to work with this guy (even though he's taking away my fun stuff and I don't like him) and give him chance. I was honest for once and told him about my abuse with my uppers. He said he could tell I was strung out.

Addiction is the hardest beast I've ever had and I'm still fighting it. Stay strong and if you need it then go to a program. Anything. Maybe IP for a major med change and clean up. I should be taking my own advise here so I'm going to shut up now lol. Good luck to you!



I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

[BaxWar1023]

Sounds like a plan. I have been pimping and struggling with sexual addiction (wrong forum). Tainted. I just take all my meds as needed now. Had 48oz. of beer today with a black. Don't know what to say. Black and mild, that's what I should say. Things are coming together. I have a lot of knowledge but not a lot of experience.. should be a long road.